The 2 Man Advantage

I love this

2012-02-02T20:25:00.004-05:00

I never saw this. You probably have. It's old Sully. But it's so cool. Drink a glass of tang, sit back and relax.

Barbone

Skip-shots?

2012-02-01T19:20:00.002-05:00

Check out this goal from Dennis Seidenberg:

And check out this goal last week from Kevin Klein:

Both shots were from long range but Klein did the sneaky-fake-dump-in-then-throw-one-at-the-net move while Seidenberg just bombed one. But both shots took funny bounces like a short-hopper to 3rd base.

My question is this: are guys purposely skipping the puck at goalies from long range? If so, SICKNESS.

-Nemmy

All-Star Draft

2012-01-27T22:48:00.004-05:00

Hi, remember me? I used to write blog posts.

Here are some quick thoughts on last night's all-star draft:

1) It needs more booze. If I was producing the event I'd make sure that backstage area had an open bar. The event is new, guys are stiff, and guys need to loosen up a bit. Plus by the time Logan came out for his car he would have been pickled and throwing punches.

2) Change the venue - Again let's loosen it up a bit. No need for suits and jackets. Instead have the event with small tables instead of stands and let the guys lounge a bit. Have a few mics being passed so guys already picked can chirp those who are being chosen. Have Giroux's mic hot the entire show. Let's get running commentary going. The guys are shy as it is. I like the lively crowd but maybe take the crowd out so the guys get more comfortable in a dressing room or bar type situation.

3) I think James Duthie does a tremendous job - He handled the Timmy Thomas interview like a pro and was sharp throughout. BUT give him some help. It would be nice if Roenick and maybe Kevin Weekes worked some play by play during the event.

4) No knock on Igor larionov's daughter but that Twitter inclusion is dopey - She seems cool and should be backstage with interviews of guys who are sweating it out.

5) What exactly are the laptops for? - again the event is a little too formal. Have the captains sitting at a table with a list of players and instead of making the selections like its an entrance draft have them say why they are drafting these guys. For example a loose Lupul could say "I'm picking Tim Thomas because Chara threatened to Pacioretty my ass if I chose a goalie before him."

6) Lupul was excellent - He's sharp and had a few good lines (when Kessel was picked was great). I felt like he held back a bit because he didn't want to really engage the fans. A beer or two and permission to engage enemy targets from the higher ups would help make things more interesting.

7) That music was brutal.

8) For the 2nd year now someone watching with us is way too stoned and tries to say that the picks are preselected because they already have a white or dark sweater with the name on the back. Come on, Scotty. You're better than that.

9) Kane loved the blond sweater girl but the brunette was a lottery pick. Not too many guys said thanks when the ladies took their jackets.

10) Kane and Iginla didn't say hi to each other that whole time backstage? And how awkward was that handshake? That was terrible.

Skills comp tomorrow. Chara will have hardest shot, Seguin with hit all 4 targets and Soupy gets fastest skater.

Stay loose,

Nemmy

Mucus

2012-01-25T21:27:00.003-05:00

This is the first idiot cartoon I ever made. what a joke. Clean up your mucus people. Please!

Zellius

We're Back!

2012-01-24T10:31:00.002-05:00

Something we did to express our lack of ourselves

- Zim

Rock the Vote

2010-11-17T10:31:00.005-05:00

The Good

The Bad

and the Ugly

- Nemmy

All-Star Game Draft

2010-11-12T11:36:00.006-05:00

By now you have heard the changes in the selection process for the All-Star Game.

Scotty and I decided to have a 2-man 2Man All-Star fantasy draft over email at work.
We named ourselves non-playing coach/captains and picked the customary 4 forward lines, 3 defensive pairings and 3 tenders. Scotty had 1st overall pick. Here's how the draft went:

A few notes from the draft:
- It's an all-star game so I took D that can rip. Mike Green that early (5th round) was a no brainer

- Scotty didn't keep it totally real by taking a few injured players like Parise and Marty. It's all good for our fantasy draft purposes.

- I should've taken Perry to pair him with Getzlaf. When Scotty took Perry I took Bobby Ryan just so Scotty wouldn't snatch him up later on and pair him with Perry.

- Goalies get torched every year but at least Tim Thomas competes so hard that he can make a few unreal saves.

- I feel like Eric Staal always comes up big in these games.

- We broke up the Sedins and Scotty took the good one. In the real draft will the captains have to handcuff them like how you pick your star RB's backup in fantasy football?

- Our rosters are ridic. I don't really think we left anyone off but some arguments can be made. Where did we eff up?

- WOW

- Kovy didn't get picked because of how badly he snuffed his last SO attempt. He looks like a broken man.

- I was considering taking Dwayne Roloson with my final goalie pick because he is the best goalie when facing 50+ shots. I made that stat up but I feel like it's true.

- If Savard wasn't concussed he would have went top 3 for me. There is no better player for a pickup game than that guy.

- John Carlson is a beast. Dude has a bomb.

Thoughts?

- Nemmy

2Man Central Scouting

2010-11-03T14:27:00.002-04:00

Someone hire me to scout for your NHL team. I'm employing some new evaluation techniques and I'm certain I will put winners in jerseys.

Of course I'll watch these guys play games but mostly my determinations will come from personal interviews and some private investigation work.

Here's a taste of some of my criteria.

1) Does the player have an awful haircut?
Mario, Jagr, Ovy, Malkin, Matty Weindel, etc. all made serious missteps in their hairstyles before becoming stars. Checking what's under the helmet is an easy way to narrowing down the potential stars.
Open up any pack of NHL prospects cards and pick out two. Take Todd Harvey and Pat Falloon for example. Who has the more brutal hairstyle? Which one will be the better NHLer. It’s kind of easy.
You know who had the best hair in amateur hockey history? Answer: Vinny Bruce. Kid was a HNIB stud and standout at Taft but now him and his sick haircut trade investment grade debt for a living. Having tragic hair isn't a sure ticket to NHL stardom but if Vinny had some frosted tips he would have at least made some ECHL money.

2) Does the player have a brain in his head?
I'm going to put a pane of glass to the left of the crease and see if the kid can break it by shooting on a goalie. Does he know where to put a puck on net to get a rebound? This is just like how coaches in basketball teach big men how to anticipate rebounds.

3) How does the player react to wiffle ball?
I'll take a few of the kids out to the park to bbq and play some wiffle ball but I'm not looking for the next Wally Joyner. This test is simply to see:
a) Is the guy athletic enough to not look like a moron?
b) How pissed does the kid get when he loses
c) or How much does he gloat when he wins
Put it this way: I bet when scouts saw Tim Thomas at Vermont they might have noticed some raw athletic ability, labeled him as a "project" because of his mechanics and passed him over.
They totally missed the part of Thomas where he wants to rip so hard that he will literally throw his cock in front of Sheldon Souray to deflect a low slapper. Part of my PI work is finding out if they can remember how many strokes the player beat his father in-law the last time they played mini golf. Common questions include:
Have you ever thrown a pingus paddle in anger?
Has anyone ever called you a "piece of shit" after a family game of Scrabble?
Do you think you have a puncher's chance against anyone anytime?
Would you ever fuck Lenny Kravitz? (Actually that was part of my dating questionnaire.)

There's so much more to my method. After I'm down exhaustively scouting players I guarantee I could fill a team with leaders who you can root for instead of a few passive jerkoffs with "great hockey sense".

Please use the2manadvantage@gmail.com with any inquiries.

- Nemmy

Why Danielle should stick with the Islanders and forget the Habs

2010-11-01T08:18:00.002-04:00

Last week the Active Stick posted the reasons that my girlfriend should become a Habs fan (you can read that post here). While there is much I don't agree with in that post, I can agree that Danielle is gorgeous and that any team would be lucky to have her fandom. However, I will not be posting a picture of Danielle to confirm said gorgeousness, so if thats what you came for, I'm sorry to disappoint.

Anyway, here are the reasons that Danielle should stick with the Islanders:

Notice that I didn't say choose the Islanders, but instead, stick with them. Thats because the only hockey game that Danielle has every been to was an Islanders game. Why would she choose to be a fan of a team she has never even seen live? I could understand more if she wanted to be an Avalanche fan, but thats neither here nor there. If Montreal is such a great hockey city and has such terrific fans, how come not one of them ever invited Danielle to game when she was living there for 6 years!?

Orange is a great color and with the throwback royal blue look terrific on Danielle. Granted, she's so hot, that she would look smoking in a burlap sack, but the point is that Islander's orange looks great on her

If speaking French is the only qualification you need to be a coach in Montreal, no wonder they've struggled lately. The Islanders have plenty of french-speaking players for Danielle to converse with. Plus she can teach the non-french speakers how to trash talk their Quebecois opponents

Islander fans are just as passionate as Canadien fans, but you know, without the rioting or occasional racism.

Following the Canadiens means that there are super-high expectations every year followed by massive disappointment. Danielle has a high stress job, she doesn't need much more to worry about. Following the Islanders means low expectations, so any success is a bonus!

The Islanders will continue to get high draft picks, so she won't have to stay up too late to find out who they draft in the first round.

Finally, since Danielle lives in New York now, its important that she choose the right side of the New York rivalry, and being a Rangers fan might be even worse than being a Habs fan.

-Bress

Question

2010-10-29T13:39:00.001-04:00

What's going on here?

- Nemmy

Chucking Sauce

2010-10-26T12:43:00.003-04:00

I don't know where this video is from but at the 0:15 mark one of the Wings pulls out the mini lob wedge and makes my afternoon. Does anyone recognize the player? Might be a guy on the Grand Rapids taxi squad up for the day or a peewee with sick hands. I suck at hockey.

- Nemmy

Who do you call at that point...has to be Gretz

2010-10-22T10:11:00.010-04:00

How ridiculous does Bridget Moynihan look here. Tha might be the sexiest photo I have ever seen. Always liked Brady's pick there.

Let's start off with some Datsyuk sneak compliments of Branis's eye.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93bpmaBmYPg&p=AEB1C2D63CFC884A&playnext=1&index=51

sorry couldn't get the embedding with my browser but watch sneaky pavel with some behind the backness, gettin the joints loosy-goosy.

So last night I saw Ovy do such a sneaky thing, that I never thought about. In the NHL as in men's league for all us idiots you can't make a change when you ice the puck. I like this rule because it forces teams to deal with a break-out or gives the other team a chance to capitalize on a tired line in their zone. Ovy stayed out for an entire powerplay last night and should have gotten off with 10 seconds left in it when they broke it out, however he did not and they got caught in their zone. They could not get it out so Ovy iced it because he was dead tired. Now in men's league when this happens, I am like shit I am so tired and now I have to deal with clearing it or breaking it out and I am so tired. Ovy used his brain and realized, hey we need some more rest so they won the next draw and Ovy iced it again to give him and the boys a bit more time to re-group. They wound up taking a penalty anyway but a smart heads up (capacity utilization move) by OV to by some rest time. Really thinking outside the box.

Artem he does look like a Russian Mig fighter jet pilot out there from Top Gun.
There was a back to back Kyle Brodziak goal situation in the Minnesota game and the San Jose box score had a back to back Joey Pavelski assists from Heater and Marlenis.

Dany Sedin keeps throwin ppg's into the kitty and Kelsey Grammar's new girlfriend already mis-carried on a child. I love that man.

Sean Bergenheim had a breakaway goal and Dp played it perfectly and than had a short-handed situation against DP that DP said no to thank god. That would be the last thing we need is a win streak stopped because Doug Weight keeps getting roasted on the powerplay blue-line and a guy that never did anything for us comes out and scores a shorthanded game winner in our eye.

If any of you have not heard about or seen the Isles finish last night in overtime. Matty Mouls-juice is just being Matty Mouls. He may have 37 goals this year. Yes I have Gloria Estefan on while I write so hold on.

The isles are......well.....ok....but please this Doug Weight thing at the point...I get it but he is just too slow to catch people that break the other way. Remember when DP bailed out Dougy when he pulled Gaborik down and gave him a penalty shot. Dp bailed him out once at least with Bergenheim last night. I mean come on now. I love Dougy but we need at least another speedy D man that can cover when this happens.

Matt Cullen is a mule deer right now. An absolute minotaur. Well maybe he's not Arnold of the NHL right now, that may go to Hossa or the Kid or Stamkos but Cullen may finally have a break out season with all those sneaky guys in Minnesota.

We added hits to our fantasy leagues this year. Really puts much more emphasis on players that previously had been discarded in the trash can or places more emphasis on bruisers like Downie and Morrow. OVY is almost unfair in a league with hits because he gets 200 hits on top of everything else he does. I thought he was going to score 20 game winners at one point this season but Boston put him and the Caps in their place. BErgeron missed an empty net short handed goal in the first game for me. Come on dude. I needed that one.

Which brings me to my final point. The Isles goal in overtime went to video review. The longest review ever. If you saw the goal...it trickled off Ellis's back and he swung his glove around and caught the puck shoving it out of the net. It never actually hit the ground but it crossed the goal line plane in mid-air. I think they were consulting the hockey grail as to whether or not this counts as crossing the line. Who should they call in the event that someone had to make that precedent right than if there wasn't one. Does it have to hit the floor or can it just cross the plane in air without touching net and be pulled out? You woudl have to theoretically call Gretz no? He would have to stamp it as the supreme court justice of the land. Right? Maybe a panel of Gretz, Mess and Yzerman with Roenick cooking food in the background adding a little say.

Stay long Clark MacT and give him a chance to fully squeeze out all short positions against him this season. Stevey Sulls was interesting but I just can't tell. I'm long a little Tommy Kopecky playing with Fuegas Hossa right now. Buy the Kesler dip and pile into the Dallas Stars this season...everyone from Lehtonen to Jamie Benn. I have Steve Downie in all three of my leagues. He is going to just add so much value to your squad this season playing with Stamkos and collecting pims like crazy. He will re-define the word Arabian for me this year.

Remember the end goal of life is to sell someone this hard at least one point.

Thats enough for now.

Barzelli

Hossa

2010-10-21T10:47:00.014-04:00

Hossa is a superbeast this season. The clip above is from Monday's 3-2 OT win over the Blues. Let it simmer for a moment and let's break down the nastiness.

1

I give Turco some grief for trying to do too much with the puck but this is what he can do for you. Down 2 in the 3rd Turco delivers a strike to Hossa with a better pass than half of the Dmen in the league can make.

2

Hossa catches a beat running like Randy Moss as the Blues are caught in a change.

3

Hossa is down 2 with less than a minute to go in the PP. I'd say 85% of the league's forwards would have put this puck either to the net or tried to crow bar the puck to the man in front. Hossa has too much swagger this season. Credit to the St. Louis dmen for both laying out to take away that lane and getting a body on the Hawk in front.

4

Hossa takes his time with a little deep Gretzky curl and sees a lane across the slot. The St. Louis PK box isn't as tight as they'd like as they were scrambling to get back into the play but that forward is trying to get his "active stick" in the passing lane. Eddie O would have a semi just thinking about it.

5

The pass makes it through. You get those bounces when you are playing with a full tank like Hossa. Now the guy with the puck has options. Walk in from the dot before young Oshie comes to lay him out? Hit Bolland who is geared up to unleash some serious torque? Throw one on net through traffic? How about he waits until Bull Hossa drives to the net and feed the hot hand?

6

Hossa wants it. He's a big dude and BJ Crombeem or whoever is not keeping him from a tally tonight. He's impressed me with his toughness. He's in the grimy areas and he's got his feet up on the good furniture.

7

Again the pass gets through and Hossa has a backhand layup. It doesn't happen if he's playing the perimeter just hanging around for a one-timer. It also doesn't happen if Roman Rolak doesn't poo his diaper and let that puck get past him.

Let's review:
1) Turco converts on 3rd and long
2) Hossa has room thanks to a Blues change
3) Hossa doesn't rush the play
4) Hossa nearly trips on his cock as he looks for an outlet
5) Bullrush to the net
6) Shake off the haters
7) Mazel Tov

If you don't think Hossa has that extra badass spark to him check out how he ties the game a few minutes later.

The guy wants it again this year.

- Nemmy

Guess the Suspension

2010-10-20T09:35:00.003-04:00

I say give him 10 games. 1 for grabbing the fan and 9 for suckering Brad Staubitz.

If you watch the Canucks broadcast they give it to the fan pretty good. I don't know what the guy did to get Rypien going but any player that needs to be restrained by his coach and teammates doesn't need much to push him over the edge.

Trust me, I know a little something about assaulting fans.

- Nemmy

2010-11

2010-10-15T12:50:00.003-04:00

Randomness:
1) This season doesn't seem the same without the big dogs. The Isles wouldn't benefit from Black in the system? Money to spend and a familiar face...

2) Josh Bailey and Sam Gagner are my breakout players for this season. Over 60 points. Call it a hunch.

3) The Bruins over the Wings for the Cup is my fantasy. In reality I think the Wings or Hawks are the two teams to beat. The East looks wide open after Philly and Washington.

4) After Khabibulin and Ribeiro the next alcohol-related arrest comes out of Calgary. That team seems rudderless to me.

5) I like Doug Weight, Kris Huselius, Lucic, Getzlaf, Downie, Derek Roy and John Quick for big bushy seasons. Weight and Lucic are healthy, finally, Downie is playing with some busy line mates, Huselius and Roy have been warm before but they are one hot stretch away from putting up a crooked number this season and Quick for no reason other than a better team in front of him.

6) I think Matt Moulson, Ryan Malone, Mike Fisher and Bryzgalov come back down to earth.

7) Bruce Boudreau gets fired at some point this season. I think he catches the blame if the Caps struggle. McPhee won't be on the hook because he drafts too well.

8) I'm a dopey hockey blogger I don't need to back any of these up with anything.

- Nemmy

Patrick

2010-10-14T10:03:00.002-04:00

With all due respect to Marty, this is the greatest goaltender I've ever seen play.

I'm willing to discuss but only after 12 beers.

- Nemmy

Suspensions

2010-10-13T07:20:00.003-04:00

This was worth 2 games.

This was also worth 2 games.

I'm not going crazy that Niklas Hjalmarsson sits for 2 games for this hit. He jumped into a play and was a touch too aggressive. In my perfect world he would sit for a game.

When Scotty and I watched the Isles game and saw Wiz simulate a blowjob we both laughed. We also laughed when MSG showed clips of Avery simulating a handjob during a warmup spat with Konopka. We just figured it was part of the game that two guys were goofing on each other between whistles. Giving James Wisniewski 2 games seems silly to me. I get that he's a repeat offender now as he was suspended last season for nailing Brent Seabrook in the head. I get that saying "hey, blow me" and miming the act are different but 2 games for something pretty harmless in my opinion is crazy. Of course Avery was suspended 6 games for making a joke so we have seen outrageous suspensions for something not so outrageous before. Maybe my sense of humor is different from the league front office but I would only suspend Wiz 2 games if he actually blew a player on the ice.

- Nemmy

Weekend Warrior

2010-10-11T18:02:00.013-04:00

Mike Delisi once called me a weekend warrior one time when I attempted to make my drinking habits seem ok. This weekend required the warrior in me. It started off with Justin McDizzle knocking at my door around 1:30 Thursday AM. Two greasssyyyy spider monkeys and an Abe Lincoln later and Friday night was upon us. Nemy's wedding night.
wow what a photo of Nem there huh?
A splendid affair which featured the best Clark Kent rendition by Mac. Camille had quite a strong impression on his person as well. Together they operated machinery that had not been in use in quite some time.

Yes Dance got hitched Friday and it was a glorious affair overlooking Lady Liberty Harbor in New York. I sang Lazy Mary by Lou Monte in token to my friendship. I said Yes. Just say Yes!

The wedding night saw many old friendships come back together. Many gestures came out that we hold so high here at the 2man heart. Why just yesterday, James Wisniewski new member to the Islander D-core exemplified to Sean Avery some remnants from the Wedding.

Perhaps our best group rendition of the photo at the Piers displaying the Rangers in 94 after they won their last stanley cup. Notice how I use the word Last!

Then there is Brian Kinahan doing his best impression of everything in this photo.What about me snaking Brad Boyes in the 15th plus round of every single draft I had this year. Come on dude. Buying on a pullback year. The man will have a 30 and 30 at the worst.

Ovy's game winner last night and all is back and right with the world as it should be.

My weekend continued the following night at another great friends wedding out on Long Island whose highlights included my Pops in a fire red tie, Sternberg head butting me after many drinks and the calming presence of Geno Malkin on a powerplay in mid-February. My neck and knees are sooo soar from dancing that I am just sitting out of life this week. I am on the verge of either leaving my job or getting fired and I figure thats fine because as Nemy always said the Josef Vasicek show we did is pulling in a ton of royalities from the networks so I got that going for me.

I met up with Leonard the Cat recently and he tried to make me remember to look at bright side of everything. He wasn't always a billionaire. He didn't always have the largest emerald mine in the world or the largest collection of subterranean bug faces but what he did always have was his integrity, beliefs and good nature. He and Camille recently ventured to the Falkland Islands to one of Leonards many summer retreats to discuss business ethics and the crisis in the Middle East. They bought the only liquor store on the main island and locked themselves in the house for a week. It ended with a Matt Moulson hat-trick, a goal, assist and a snot rocket before Camille boarded his space ship and headed for the hedge.

This Saturday the 2man crew will head to the Coliseum for a cancer night against the powerful Avalanche army. We go in rememberance of a fallen comrade. A great man whose spirit is strong and steady in the after life. A man who would always cheer me up after a college game that I felt I hadn't played well in. He would always help me get over it with a smile or a laugh. Well this Saturday we shall pour some out for him and maybe eat one too many brownies in honor of him. When I think of the Islander team in my lifetime I think of a few select memories. Pat Lafontaine, Trottier, Nystrom, Tambellini, Bruno, Dan Bressler and his old school mesh jerz, my grandma bathing me in her sink during games when I was a pup so I could see the tv and Al Bressler with his jolly old smile and good nature. Travis Green is in there too with maybe Mic Vukota or Rich Pilon...weird.

Well until next time...fight the trend and FUCK the haters!

Barbone

Hmmm

2010-10-04T22:35:00.001-04:00

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7192553/

silly and weird but I may further this concept

Barbone

Sorry, she's taken

2010-10-04T07:59:00.003-04:00

Have yourself a joke-Friday!

2010-10-01T23:03:00.001-04:00

Question

2010-09-13T15:15:00.005-04:00

First off I think its interesting that Kesler has a kid
Just saying...not judging...just saying
Thought a player that young and with skill developing like it is that he might want to play the field awhile longer

Anyway

Nemchinov sent me a text the other night with the above picture and needed me to guess who that was.

First off the guy looks tiny in that photo and it is supposed to be Shane Doan. Apparently he cut his hair. There is no way that I would ever be able to tell Shane Doan without long hair, sunglasses and a hat on....no way

Whats also crazy is that I have stock photos of Doan already in my computer at work.

The 2 man had a great roller skate on Saturday...Truly fun

The way it was supposed to be

Ryan Kesler

2010-09-09T07:30:00.004-04:00

I either want a kid or want Ryan Kesler to be my father.

It would be hard for this stuff to happen at an NBA event because with only 30K seats in the arena where would all the fans sit?

Sorry. I'm slowly getting back into the blogging. We're reactivating Skynet as we speak.

- Nemmy

NHL 11

2010-09-07T10:31:00.006-04:00

So the new season is almost here and the new video game as well. I pretty much only play the hockey games on xbox at this point and have gotten scary good. I said that I would attempt to contact the EA Sports headquarters...you know like their question, comment, feedback thing which I'm sure they have about some new ideas for the upcoming games. Obviosuly I didn't because I'm lazy however I'd like to list the additions and deletions as I see them. Maybe I'll get these in for 2012 game.

They apparently have altered the faceoff system which is solid. Meaning instead of the pull it back only situation, you can now push and pull the opposing center and have a forward come in on your team or you can actually go for the shot off the faceoff in the offensive zone which will be cool. Move OVY to the center in a clutch sitch and have him just rip off the faceoff. I like this.

Apparently there was a huge push for broken stick effect. WHAT! Stop it...this takes up graphic and memory space to make the game work properly. Yes it makes the game more realistic but its not realistic its video games so can we please do something else and stop wasting valuable space on this stupidity.

They added dekes and the Brad McGann texas two step hop over opponents that have fallen or you just want to do the Texas Mac Two Step around an opponent. They have added more moves like the Bure to the skate and such and other things which is solid.

The thing I like the most is apparently they have stretched out the amount and type of hits that occur. Meaning you wont see the same type of hit very often. Different body reactionary movements from the hits. I love this. Because I love turning up the aggression meter and the hitting difficulty down and just re-writing history with Zdeno Chara.

Overall it looks to be sexy but here is what I wanted to submit to the gaming programmers.

In the opening menu there are game modes like international tourney, season, playoff...whatever. I thought you could create a mode like pro-beach roller hockey with the ramps behind the net and your on the beach. Maybe you can use alumni like McSorley, Gretz, Mess whoever. And they use a ball so it bounced and does different stuff than puck mode does. Xbox hockey games used to do pond hockey which was sick along with mini games and such. Bring that shit back. Its video games....have the mode that resembles real hockey like every game has and than spin it up. And most importantly...enable gamers to be able to play with 2 on 2 or 3 on 3 or 4 on 4 in season mode or tourney mode. I always wanted to be able to play with like Washington and use Ovy Backstrom and Green and do a 3 on 3 tourney instead of 5 on 5. Or use Getsome, Perry and Niedermayer, no line changes and just have fun. Make the flip passes easy and high arcing so you can home run breakaways easily. And about the flip passes, 2 years ago you would flip a pass out of the zone and it cxould bounce in the neutral zone and than bounce over the opponents Defenseman's stick and you'd be off to the races. In 2010, it bounces in the neutral zone and the computer glitch intercepts it all the time. Don't make it all the time...its fun in video game world to homerun passes.

Friday Reading

2010-08-20T09:14:00.001-04:00

This was sent by my friends dad. Enjoy:

I’ve put some thoughts together about my “hockey career” which I hope you find amusing. Also from a fans perspective I think that the NHL should stop changing the rules every year and should consider the pre 1960 rules. Here goes:

I’ve been watching hockey since 1954 when my dad took me to Madison Square Garden to see the Rangers play the Bruins in front of maybe 6,000 fans. Since then I’ve probably seen over 700 NHL games in 10 cities including Montreal and Toronto. When my son Ted was 9 years old he started playing youth hockey which became travel hockey with teams on Long Island and in Princeton, NJ. Youth hockey games total over 300 from Marlborough, Mass. to Tysons Corner VA. Additionally he played four years of club hockey at Rider University.

Considering that my dad came from St. Catharines, Ontario I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know how to skate. My dad, who attended the first ever NHL game in New York at the old Madison Square Garden in 1924 between the Americans and Canadiens, told me that Howie Morenz was the greatest player ever and I believe that his great grandson is currently playing hockey for the University of Wisconsin. Hockey is in my blood and after being married 30 years my wife Susie knows not to make plans for any night when the Rangers are playing. I’m always frightful of May or June wedding conflicting with Stanley Cup Play Off Games. I always tell people that after getting married and having two children the happiest day of my life was June 14, 1994 when the Rangers finally won the Stanley Cup.

Years ago in the old MSG they would permit fans to go down to the entrance of the Ranger’s room to see the team make their way on to the ice. My parents had just given me a new Polaroid Color Camera for Christmas and there I was ready to take a picture of Jacques Plante coming out of the Ranger room. Frank Paice the longtime trainer of the Rangers says to me “You’re not going to take a picture of the goalie are you?” to which I said yes I was. He asked me not to as the flash of my camera could conceivably blind the goaltender. Wow I’m sure glad I didn’t shoot Jacques Plante because he gave up two goals to the Bruins just moments after the Star Spangled Banner was sung by Everett Morrison with Gladys Gooding at the organ. The Rangers as I recall came back to win the game. Instead of getting a picture of Jacques Plante my photo is of a young Rod Gilbert. That picture with his autograph that I got many years later is in our home. Speaking about the Star Spangled Banner and O Canada it’s sad that they have been replaced by TV commercials. If it was this way years gone by I never would have heard Roger Doucet sing O Canada from the Montreal Forum

I grew up in Rockville Centre out on Long Island and my buddy from down the street was the late Pete Axthelm who about 35 years ago wrote a book about New York City basketball called “The City Game”. It was New Years Eve 1959 and our parents had given us permission and a few dollars to see the Rangers play the Bruins. At the Garden we buy a pair of tickets in the Side Promenade which was the three rows closest to the ice. At $4 a ticket even in 1959 it was pretty cheep. We wound up in Section R in the first row behind the Bruins’ bench. No glass – just a steel mesh screen. I was 17 and Pete was 16 and we had heard our share of fowl language at La Salle Military Academy and Chaminade by then or so we thought until hearing both “Bronko” Horvath and Vick Stasiuck. Their vocabulary didn’t prevent them along with Johnny Bucyk from forming the Bruins famous “Uke Line” as all three players were of Ukrainian heritage. Talk about being fowl mouthed - we could hear every word they said. Into the game the Rangers’ Camille Henry was injured and down on the ice when we hear the Bruins Jerry “Topper” Toppazani sarcastically say “Poor little boy got hurt” and my sidekick Pete Axthelm says to me “Topper why don’t you shut up” never thinking for a moment that his comment could be heard! Suddenly we are looking at each other as a hockey stick is being waived at our heads as “Topper” says to Pete “Shut up kid or I knock your f’ing teeth down your throat”.

So I feel more qualified than a lot of fans to offer my opinion of the National Hockey League since it resumed play in 2005 with several rule changes some of which I like and of course a few that I don’t. But before I start let me say that you think you’ve seen everything possible until you get involved in youth hockey. So let me throw this question at you. A penalty shot is awarded if the goal tender throws his stick at a player right? So the kid on our team taking the penalty shot skates toward the goal and, so help me you can’t make this up, the goalie throws his stick again! What’s the call? Well our kid was awarded an automatic goal and the goal keeper got two minutes for delay of game. It would be interesting for you go into your archives to see if this ever happened in the NHL.

Five years ago when play resumed there were several rule changes made in an effort to increase scoring and really this has not happened. That being said with there are more PP goals because of the increase number of power plays but at even strength goal scoring is about the same. To me the obvious reason is that the talent is spread too thin which might become a bigger problem with the Kontinental Hockey competing for European players. Anyway here is what I would do if I became the NHL Hockey God:

· Bring back the automatic icing as it was many years ago as Don Cherry has pontificated about this for several years & in the Olympics too.

· Eliminate the trapezoid. So what if the goalie handles the puck. Now they puck handle in front of the trapezoid anyway. We want play to continue don’t we and why should the goalie be penalized for demonstrating his puck handling ability?

· Put the Blue Lines closer to the goal where they were before. Currently with the Blue Line closer to the Red Line an attacking player is further from the opposing goal. With the Blue Lines in their pre 2004 position, a potential attacker is closer to the opposing goal.

· No more automatic Delay of Game minor penalty for putting the puck over the glass. Let the referees decide if it’s intentional or not. The automatic penalty is too severe for a simple mistake. Putting the puck over the glass is not a restraining foul like tripping, hooking, holding or interference nor can a player get hurt as might result from boarding, high sticking, elbowing, cross checking or charging yet the same two minute penalty is assessed! More power plays rather than speeding up the game was only reason for this rule. By the time the referee makes his call & the player goes to penalty box the game is delayed more! Finally do you really want a game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals decided by this type of call? Let the players decide who wins and who looses and not some foolish, gimmicky and Mickey Mouse rule!

· The enforcement against hooking and to a lesser extent holding is way too tight. There isn’t a game I’ve watched in the last 5 seasons in which the announcer or color man hasn’t commented about a penalty for either side being a phantom call or being too “ticky tacky” or being very weak. “Was that the penalty?” or “That can’t be it can it?” or words to that effect are uttered in virtually every game that I see! Back off a bit please.

· Eliminating the two line pass rule is Ok.

· Goalie Pads have to be made smaller!

· 15 minutes between periods not 17 minutes.

· You want to increase scoring then make a penalized player serve his full penalty time irrespective of the number of the goals scored as was the rule until about 1960 when it was changed to off set Montreal’s fabulous PP.

Now clearly the most controversial rule change has been the Shootout which some will argue is ridiculous….65 minutes of team play to be decided by an individual skills competition! But you can’t ignore the excitement that a shootout brings to the building. Therefore I’m onboard and support the shootout provided it is never used in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. One downside to the Shootout is that it takes away the excitement of a penalty shot during the game.

Many things have happened in this game that produced unexpected results. Years ago, before helmets, opponents had more respect for one another and now with advent of helmets and better equipment the game has gotten much rougher particularly along the boards where we now see major penalties and suspensions for hits to the head including boarding or cross checking. I was going to say charging but I can’t remember the last time I saw a charging penalty. Unfortunately the new equipment gives players from youth hockey on up a false sense of security and has made the game rougher than it ought to be. Make these guys take off the head gear & see what happens! That’s a bit too radical isn’t it?

One thing though was that without helmets you didn’t have to buy a program to see that Eric Nesterenko of the Blackhawks was No.16. If he was walking down 49th St. any NYR fan would immediately recognize him. No helmets? I don’t think so.

We definitely have a problem with players crashing the net and the goalie. This could be corrected immediately if the goal posts were anchored into the ice but while this isn’t as wacky as helmet elimination I couldn’t support this idea either. I’ll tell you what though. Make the goal crease its original size and change the rule so as to make goalies fair game if they are out of the goal crease. Again at one time this was the rule. I heard Dave Maloney on a NYR telecast use the term “frontier justice” meaning how the goal tenders like the Islanders’ Billy Smith policed their turf before the rules were amended. Now I know that you can’t come out and say it’s Ok for Marty Brodeur to slash an opposing player who is in his turf but maybe the refs should kinda look the other way unless it gets out of hand.

As for fighting – it’s part of the game! As a Ranger fan who can forget that Gordie Howe – yes Gordie Howe – broke Lou Fontanato’s nose. Then there was the war between Vic Hadfield & Henri “Pocket Rocket” Richard and of course John Ferguson against anyone. Unfortunately I was ”aweigh” in the USN for the battles between Ted Harris & Orland Kurtenbach. For the most part these fights were spontaneous and part of the individual contest. Hadfield and Richard had their battles but considering that there were 14 games each season between Rangers and Canadiens altercations between the two were few. Also Howe, Hadfield, Ferguson and Richard were skill players and goal scorers while Fontanato and Harris were dam good defencemen! These guys were hockey players first who could defend themselves and fight if need be. The same could even be said about Dave Schultz of the Flyers who once had a Hat Trick against the Rangers. But in today’s game it seems that most teams skate with a “designated” fighter such as Colton Orr, Georges Laraque and Donald Brashier all of whom are 4th line skaters. The difference is that these guys are fighters first and hockey players second. It’s one thing to see Vic Hadfield defending the honor of the New York Rangers while at the same time scoring 50 goals. On the other hand today’s designated fighters don’t see much ice when the game is on the line. To fix the problem I would cut back to 16 the number of skaters each team can dress. In this scenario you would have 11 forwarders and 5 defencemen and teams would not have the luxury of dressing a designated fighter. Good luck with the NHLPA on this idea as it would mean the elimination of 2 players from each team or 60 jobs league wide. Maybe 17 skaters could cure part of the problem.

Clearly the 2005 rule changes have not worked and the truth is that but for the two line pass rule and the shoot out maybe the NHL should consider going back to the pre 1957 rules when each team had 16 skaters and we had automatic icing with penalties being served in full and goalies could roam but at their own risk. By changing the rules every year the NHL looses credibility.

An innovative one to start out your week

2010-07-19T09:01:00.001-04:00

Sweater watch

2010-07-13T09:46:00.004-04:00

Yesterday I tweeted that a young Angie Jolie was wearing a red Devils jersey in the 1995 dopey computer movie Hackers.

Today we have Mike Inez, bassist for Alice in Chains wearing a Kings sweater on stage.

I could waste a full day on the internet watching 90's rock bands and searching for hockey jersey sightings. Until Kovy signs this is all we got.

- Nemmy

Bob Probert

2010-07-06T10:31:00.002-04:00

Rest in Peace

Breezers

2010-06-29T10:32:00.035-04:00

Got anything to talk about? Nope? Let's talk about hockey pants.

The worst breezers in the NHL are the teams that go with the plain black style. The Flyers, Bruins, Avalanche, Sharks, Kings, Stars, and Devils do nothing.

The Devils went from those sick green with red striped pants to plain black pants.

Terrible move. The only way teams can get away with the solid colored pants is if the teams sweaters are elaborate like the Caps and the Predators.

If you have more simple jerseys like the Flyers or Devils throw a stripe and a logo on there.

Just like Detroit. Plain, simple, classic.

I like how the teams that do the throwback unis bring back sick looking pants. Edmonton and the Isles went the Canadiens route with great success.

Calgary not only had the best deep red in sports but added the yellow stripes.

The Pens used to have the solid yellow line then went boring with the solid black and now have the gold Thomas Pink gold triangle cut.

This style is kind of cool and works with the All-Star unis from 2008.

Not like the plain stars and lines in the worst All-Star pants in 1983

The Tackla pants with the logos down the side are too Euro looking even though I wore a pair like this in pee-wee.

When you have boring black pants this is how you make shit work: The Tampa Bay Lightning put a bolt down the side.

When you have boring black pants this is how you mess everything up: The Dallas Stars spelled out the city down the side.

Before they tried to put stars down and that looked dopey.

The only team to pull off the stars was the Caps. Scotty still has a pair of the white Tackla Capitals breezers with the red and blue stars and 2 stripes that I wear when I suit up for roller hockey goalie. Awesome pants but you have to be an amazing hockey player to wear them and not have everyone in the rink take a run at you.

The only other guy that should be run as much as the kid in the white pants is the kid who won't zip up the insides of his Tackla pants. The extra un-zipped room is for players to pull the pants up over your skates. The zippers aren't there because you are such a dynamic skater that you need the extra room for your Kariya-like stride. Zip that shit up, loser.

Ottawa also gets away with the plain black pants with one white and one red stripe. Solid.
Kind of like Chicago which gets it done all over the board.
Some teams try to add the stripe at the end of the pants like Columbus and Carolina. I don't like these because they both look like the players are wearing shells and we can see their black pants sticking out underneath.

The only two times I think the bottom stripes work. One is the New York Rangers because they have thin white and blue stripes on red breezers along with vertical stripes.

The other time the bottom stripe worked was with the Jets. Again it worked because of the red color and white stripe didn't make it look like it was a shell.

The Blues have pretty cool futuristic RBK pants but the curved stripe. Not a bad look.

The other strong new pants are the Coyotes because of the color, stripes and it has the moon logo. Every team should have some logo on the pants.

The Wild keep it real.

The Panthers should switch to these pants full-time. Sick color, one white stripe and the sneaky sun logo on the bottom. SICK.

The best breezers in my opinion were the CCM Supras. Classic pants, simple with the two white lines down the side.

The Kings made the most of having black pants when Gretzky wore the Supras with the white stripes and the logo.

Better than the classic New Jersey green breezers were the old Whalers pants. The Whale had plain green with the logo and the white stripes on the side. If they went with a blue stripe in there it would have been game over.

A big step up from this shit:
But the best pants were Supras that the Nordiques wore.

The best pants going unless you can get away with wearing no pants at all.

HeyO!

- Nemmy

So Bob McKenzie tried to ruin my weekend

2010-06-28T12:15:00.002-04:00

Bob tweeted that the Bruins are looking to dish Marc Savard to Toronto in order to free up salary. Savard's makes $4MM against the cap. Great value right? I realize that the Bruins have too many centers and no cap space but can it really be that bad? Shoot Michael Ryder in the foot and wipe out his $4MM cap hit.

And until the Bruins make a terrible mistake and deal Savard for nothing please don't fuck with my emotions, Bob McKenzie.

Congrats if you were drafted this weekend. If we are still doing this blog in 5 years(let's hope not) we'll revisit the picks and find out who really won. Until then we can all be proud how many Americans were picked.

Instead of letting Bob McKenzie drain my bucket let's be happy. While this video is about last week's soccer game it's really worth seeing.

There's nothing like twisting and turning an entire game and then in one moment being lifted off your feet. Landon Donovan with a very Parise like finish. Magic.

Soccer isn't my favorite sport in the world but anything that gets a crowd of people ripping into a USA chant is fine by me.

Hold onto your seats for July 1st.

- Nemmy

Let's do the best we can

2010-06-25T10:01:00.003-04:00

Wild wild stuff this week. I'm going to do my best to wrap evening up in a nice, neat package. Think of this post like Hayden Panettiere without hairy balls. btw, how about that popup ad chick in my picture? Right?

The NHL draft is tonight - Hall likely goes first to Edmonton followed by Boston picking Seguin. My guess is that Boston tries to move up. Who knows how that could work but Edmonton can take on salary and Boston doesn't need another center. Savard and Thomas are both open to trades. Thomas makes $5MM for the next 3 (I think) and Savvy's cap hit is $4MM a year (a fucking steal).

The Blackhawks made a big splash sending Buff, Brent Sopel, Ben Eager and Akim Aliu to the Thrashers for the 24th and 54th picks this year and Marty Reasoner, Jeremy Morin and Joey Crabb. The Hawks needed to dump salary and ended up getting some solid picks in return. Great deal for the Hawks. Scotty and I disagree with how good Buff will be going forward. We both think the Hawks sold him pretty high but I don't see him as a power next season. It's a cold world on your own without Kane, Toews et al.

The Hawks also sent Colin Fraser to the Oil for a 6th rounder in this year's draft. All the talk is that they want to keep Sharp and deal Ladd away. More moves to come.

The recently traded Brent Sopel will march with the Cup in Chicago's gay pride parade. Nice to see such an evolved move from an NHLer.

The NHL salary cap moves to $59.4MM for the 2010-11 season. Brian Campbell still is overpaid.

The Bruins sent Dennis Wideman and the 15th pick this year and a 3rd rounder in 2011 to Florida for Nathan Horton and Colin Campbell's kid. Is Horton the scoring winger that will spark the Bruins? As long as he rips harder than Daniel Paille then it could be a win for the Bruins. Wideman should benefit from a change in scenery.

The Bruins resigned Johnny Boychuk for a 2-year worth $3.75MM. As a Bruins fan I love this deal. He came alive in the postseason.

The Sharks let Nabokov walk and inked Pat Marleau and Super Joe Pavelski. Which goalie are they targeting this summer? Many, many names out there that won't choke as hard as Nabby did in the postseason.

Wolski resigns with the Coyotes for 2-years at $7.6MM. What happens if the Coyotes only last 1 year?

What's with action movies where during a big drug deal some guy pulls a switchblade out and cuts open the kilo of coke right in the middle of the packaging to taste it? Doesn't that make a total mess? Why not take the extra seconds and unwrap the thing and wrap it back up neatly?

Former Bruins asst. Craig Ramsey is the new head coach in Atlanta.

The Kings extended the contracts of GM Dean Lombardi, head coach Terry Murray and asst. GM Ron Hextall. They also hired former Philly head coach John Stevens as an asst. to replace Mark Hardy.

The NHL schedule was released. Plan your road trip to Long Island accordingly.

Plekanec resigns with Montreal for 6-years $30MM. Welcome to crazy Montreal expectations hell, Tomas.

Cooke resigns with Pittsburgh, Modano wants to keep playing away from Dallas (please don't let it be Minsk), Tom Renney is the new head in Edmonton, Quinn is pissed, Staubitz goes to the Wild, Pyatt stays with Pheonix as Darche does with Montreal.

Rollie Melanson is the new goalie coach in Vancouver. I only bring that up because I use one of his old sticks for roller hockey.

The Hockey Hall of Fame selected Dino Ciccarelli, Cammi Granato and others NOT Bure, Gilmour, Nieuwendyk, Pat Burns or Lindros to join it's ranks. Halls of fame are funny people because some people want only the very very very best players inducted and feel it's too easy for very good players to get in. Others see the halls as boys clubs that cater to those who a politically savvy. Others see it as a business and more of a museum that makes it's money by letting in the most popular players. I don't really care because I've never been to a hall of fame in any sport in my life but it's nice to see a guy like Dino, who according to Big Spanish "invented net presence" get his turn. And while I really have no skin in the game I will say it's silly how the baseball writers are willing to let certain players in just not on the first or second ballot. As if player X is hall worthy just not on his first go around.

Scott Niedermayer annouced his retirment from the Ducks capping off a ridiculous career where he was a winner at every level. I will miss that stride and pivot.

The NHL hosted its awards show from Vegas. Jay Mohr hosted, the Goo Goo Dolls performed and the whole show was painfully awkward. The best part of the night was the Getzlaf/Ryan segment which drew laughs. The rest was missable.
Here are the winners:
Ted Lindsay - Ovy
Hart - Hank Sedin (who took a jab at his brother on stage)
Vezina - Miller
Norris - Duncan Keith (who thanked everyone and was cut off)
Calder - Tyler Myers (same)
Jack Adams - Dave Tippett
Selke - Datsyuk
Lady Byng - St. Louis
Masterton - Jose Theodore (who doesn't have a team currently)
I think that's it. What is the trophy that the best goalie duo share? Last time I paid attention to that Moog and Lemelin shared it.

Don't get me started on the Mark Messier Leadership Award. I'm just not sure what the point of it is.

I think that's it for the major stuff. I'm not spell checking this and wrapping it up before anyone else get's moved. Have fun watching the draft tonight. Someone please remind Taylor Hall to tuck in his lower lip when on camera.

- Nemmy

We'll get to everything tomorrow

2010-06-24T14:05:00.001-04:00

Tons of stuff going on. We'll wrap things up before the draft tomorrow. We're lazy today.

What went wrong: San Jose Sharks

2010-06-17T12:42:00.001-04:00

Since Nemmy no longer owns a home computer he's asked guest writers to fill in blogging duties.

Today's guest blogger is Alvin Greene, the Democratic Party nominee for the US Senate from South Carolina.

Yes. I mean, I think, you know the laws relating to that are… they are… I’m in favor of our constitution. It's like I don't think Jumbo Joe and Nabokov could lead the Sharks to the Stanley Cup but...I would have to just look into that more. Yes.

What went wrong: Montreal Canadiens

2010-06-16T10:08:00.003-04:00

Since Nemmy no longer owns a home computer he's outsourced his blogging duties.

Today's guest blogger is Nemmy's offshore associate, Chandrashekar.

Greetings, blogosphere. While ice hockey is not much popular sport in Bangalore as in the United States, I have such been tasked with defining the causes for the Canadiens of Montreal losing the conference final. I was told to add this query to the list of deliverables ahead of today's news update, earnings calendar updation, industry data, financial spread updation, forecast models, global comp, covenant matrix, covenant analysis, new issue monitor, loan database, ratings updatation, call schedule updatation, and sensitivity analysis / estimation equation as this was most needfull.

For the Canadiens to advance through the Flyers it was requisite that both Mike Cammalleri and Jaroslav Halak perform to the best of each abilities, of which did not occur. It is a possibility that the Canadiens were fatigued from besting the more-skilled Washington Capitals in the opening stanza and the Pittsburgh Penguins in the sequential round. The Canadiens emerged victorious from the forementioned rounds despite being seeded lower. The Flyers managed to conquer Jaroslav Halak and maintain the attack from Montreal's premier scoring line. It is our belief that the physicality and ruggedness of the Flyers was central in repelling the Montreal. Had Canadien's leading defenseman, Andrei Markov been of sound health one could imagine that his high play would have aided his teammates.

It is our belief that Canadiens would be well to have more physical players in its roster next season in order to more better compete with ruggish teams such as the Flyers. This and trade Carey Price for an order of Jhinga Bagharela.

What went wrong: Philadelphia Flyers

2010-06-15T09:17:00.002-04:00

Since Nemmy no longer owns a home computer he's asked guest writers to fill in for his blogging duties.

Today's guest blogger is the kid who was drinking beer at the Phillies game.

Yo, bitches! Even though Nemmy asked me to write what went wrong with the Flyers this postseason I can't really complain about the team. Leighton sucked a few times but that jawn was diiiirtty against the Bruins. I could have stopped Kane's GWG with my fucking Speak and Spell but it was a nasty move to get some space from Kimmo. I guess I blame Mike Richards and that monkey-looking Simon Gagne. They needed to blow some shit up in the final and 6 points in 6 games is bullshit. I found a yellow Chinese Checker in my diaper that got it done harder than that prick Jeff Carter. When Hartnell's done with his wife I'm thinking about giving her my angry inch.

Also, Pronger wasn't nasty enough in the final but he's good people because he got wasted with me and my boys last summer. We were doing shots of Jameson and Pedialyte and Pronger bought like 4 rounds. That night I nearly drove my big wheel through the 15th street bus stop - it was sick! I think the Flyers needed Upshall because Carcillo didn't bring enough to the fucking table. Back in the day when I was hardcore nursing me and Scotty would be downtown with a nipple in our mouths and a Yuengling in our hands. That's Philly hockey, mufu!

I hope the Flyers trade for that LEGO-headed mufu Tim Thomas and we roll in the Final again next season. Peace!

The Whale

2010-06-14T17:30:00.003-04:00

Somewhere Ron Francis is trying to hide a hard-on.

- Nemmy

Leonard and his travels west

2010-06-10T14:18:00.015-04:00

Now as many of you know, my friends and I recently attempted to climb the Andes during winter to prove our manhoods. That failed miserably and I lay dormant and injured in a remote hospice just east of Chile recuperating for much of the early spring. All I had were financial statements and a tv showing the NHL playoffs which were lovely. I found solace in actor Vincent Vaughn's excitement and court side seating at game 5 when Betty Bolland scored. His name is Betty isn't it? Oh and the song Kyrie echoed loudly in the hill tops every morning. I began writing one day. Chenz went top shelf and we went from there. A little boy at the local blacksmith's laying the framework for a sword. My cat hairs on edge.

As my strength returned I contacted Camille and we met atop the summit to imbibe Cutty Sark.

He told me of the hardships that many faced in a double dip the chip recession. He told me of Scott Hartnell's hair and the effort he put forth during the finals. He told me of the last airbenders and how air can be bent in the fortesque. He warned me of Kobeee and Lebron. He explained Jonathan Toews muttontown chops on his face. He compared them to a frightened turtle and George Jason Lexington Lewis Costanza. Stop me when I've reached the actor Barry Pepper and the wheels have completely fallen off your comprehension of my discourse.

My fall in the Andes that left me in bed for 6 months can best be described by this picture.

I was climbing with Dandenault, Leschyshyn, and McMichaels and we got to the cloud level and it felt like I was falling for two days maybe. They counted on their way down...I....Leonard Thomas the Cat fell about 4 stories into a dewey underhang that broke my fall however I cracked every vertabrae in my body left virtually immobile and like an idiot continue to have limited use of my legs. You know...a lot goes thru your mind as you plummet four stories...maybe these pictures can summarize my thoughts on the way down.

Currently as I fully recover I am writing a short story. It will be called the Life and Times of Broadway Tony Ess. A schematic essay set in the time of Tony right around the time of the last airbenders. It will speak of Surfing Briere, Joe Sakics mid stride toey, J.R.'s awesome hair, the opposite of Pierre Maguire and Eddzo and everything terrible about those two. It will touch upon the blublocker cam on Pronger before the game last night, the way Kane was the only person to know he'd scored the most important goal of his career, John Liles and the aftermath of WWII.

I don't always drink Beer, but when I do....

Well you know the rest

Have a soak my friends,

Leonard the Cat

What you missed last night because you got head faked.

2010-06-10T10:05:00.002-04:00

Like I said on twitter last night, everyone at the bar was either a Flyers fan (unlikely) or rooting for a game 7 (more likely). Nemmy said that when the Flyers tied it up there was no way the Hawks would win the game. He didn't count on Kane's mullet shake distracting Kimo and giving him enough space to beat Leighton.

Soft goal? Maybe. Its a quick shot thats probably harder to stop. Ask Ryan Miller.

Some final thoughts on game 7 and the series in general:

Did Pronger get dirtier or did the refereeing become stricter as the series went on?
Briere and Hartnell were the only Flyers to show up after game 4
Matt Carle got walked by Hossa with like 2 minutes left in the 3rd. Leighton got his chest in the way of the puck.
Does Niemi catch pucks in the weirdest way possible?

I wish this went to game 7. Now I have to go to a karaoke birthday party on Friday. Thanks a lot Kane!

Don't Ice me, Bro

2010-06-08T10:20:00.002-04:00

As a reminder:

We're not your Bros.
This (http://yougoticed.tumblr.com/ http://brosicingbros.com/) is terrible and no friend of ours would ever bring this frat shit into our lives.

Thanks

the 2ManAdvantage

Weekend Wrap Up OR Q just used a video game to change his lines

2010-06-07T11:01:00.003-04:00

So I was in Philly Friday night to watch game 4. Did you follow along on twitter?

Heres a picture of me with John Bucigross:He's a really friendly guy and we talked about how sick of a pass Timonen made on this play:

I also met Pierre Maguire and one of the blondes from Versus.

It was crazy to read the next day how out of the series everyone assumed Chicago was (seems even crazier now), but Philly just capitalized on mistakes while Chicago dominated but didn't score. Richards' goal might be my favorite of the play-offs:

Anyway, we all know what happened last night. Joe Quenville put together a sniper, grinder, and passer on each of the top 3 lines. Surprise Surprise it worked. The real surprise was how much it destroyed ex-Conn Smythe candidate, Chris Pronger.
There weren't many pretty goals, unless you count Timonen just barely decapitating Harntell, until this PP goal

I know we all loved this hit, but thats interference, right?

Tell me what I missed

bress

Get Excited

2010-06-04T12:57:00.000-04:00

Hey Guys

2010-06-04T10:26:00.001-04:00

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you thought you could dance

2010-06-03T11:14:00.002-04:00

Best game of the series, no doubt. I originally thought Philly's second goal was inconclusive. I thought they were done when Kane scored the breakaway. I was wrong both times.

I'll be at game 4 on Friday and I'm rooting for the Flyers because I want to see this series go 7.

Holiday Weekend Wrap Up OR Its called home ice ADVANTAGE

2010-06-01T09:32:00.002-04:00

Chicago won two ways this weekend. The out-goaled Philly one night and then held down the fort in game 2.

Personally, I wouldn't have pulled Leighton in game 1, but he did bounce back in game 2... except for that Ben Eager goal.

Do the scouts say snipe Leighton up high?

This series is far from over. I predicted home-based outcomes for at least the first 4 games and I'm sticking to that.

-Bress

Philly in 6

2010-05-26T08:14:00.004-04:00

When coming up with a prediction too often people use some dopey formula to support their call. You've seen it everywhere, we've done in the past and it's still dopey. Saying "well the goalies are even but Team X's PP is better than Team Y's and I'd give the coaching edge to Team Y so..." is muddy math and excuse to make a shitty blog post.

Of course saying "Philly in 6" without any explanation is lazy.

So fuck you I'm lazy.

I'm hoping for 7 games all ending in multiple OTs. I want snipes, salt, dry rub, Motorhead and few acrobatics. I want to see multiple occasions where a team grinds an in-zone cycle through 2+ line changes. I want to see Leighton get tied up with Buff in front and have to kick out an open opportunity in desperation. I want to catch Pronger getting away with 14 counts of battery with malicious intent. I want to see Kane get popped so that his mullet is exposed. I want to see Niemi jump to trap a puck on his shoulder and get undercut by a sliding Hartnell. I want Pierre to get on the mic and blurt out "this is the best fucking game I've ever seen and I'm going to drink a beer and let the crowd watch". I want people to stop bringing up that the Flyers made it to the show on a shootout win as if it diminishes the enormity of their success. I want urgency, lockdown defense and fast-paced violence. Above all, I want to assault every dork in the New york Times Weekend commercials.

Here's the schedule of events:
Game 1 @ CHI
Sat, May 29 8:00pm EDT
TV: NBC, CBC

Game 2 @ CHI
Mon, May 31 8:00pm EDT
TV: NBC, CBC

Game 3 @ PHI
Wed, Jun 2 8:00pm EDT
TV: VS., CBC

Game 4 @ PHI
Fri, Jun 4 8:00pm EDT
TV: VS., CBC

Game 5 @ CHI
Sun, Jun 6 8:00pm EDT
TV: NBC, CBC

Game 6 @ PHI
Wed, Jun 9 8:00pm EDT
TV: NBC, CBC

Game 7 @ CHI
Fri, Jun 11 8:00pm EDT
TV: NBC, CBC

Enjoy.

- Nemmy

Montreal 5, Philly 1

2010-05-21T12:10:00.003-04:00

Montreal won at home and finally beat Leighton. Thankfully, no one was killed in the post game celebration.

Tom Pyatt and Dominic Moore each had a goal and assist. I can never remember those guys' first names.

The 2Man is very excited to have day games this weekend and Pearl Jam at MSG tonight. Although the day games put a wrench in our plans to play Tony ball we will make it up by licking Kathryn Bigelow's furry post-menopausal face. Things are starting to make sense again.

Here's a quick primer on how to kick down a door:

1) Make sure you are wearing something cool. Whoever is inside the room needs to see you looking sweet right before you rush in.

2) Pick a door that can be kicked open. Don't mess around with metal doors or anything too thick.

3) Stand sideways with your power leg closest to the door. Give a side kick to the area right under the door knob. If you are super badass face the door and muay thai jab kick the door into 1,000 pieces.

4)Say something really sweet like "Morgan Freeman says sup" or something better right after you boot the door and rush into the room.

- Nemmy

Accountability

2010-05-20T07:30:00.003-04:00

So last night Scotty and I went bowling with long-time 2Man reader Big Poopy. The place starts playing a Fergie song and Poop took me to task because I made some disparaging remarks about her in a blog post.

Here's what I wrote:

Random thought:
Fergie's body is sick but your buddies would still goof on you if you took her home.

Let me say this to each and every one of our 4 readers: I was completely wrong. I am a huge fan of Fergie. I like her body, face, the way she gets all urban in videos and pretty much celebrate the woman's entire catalog. There is no way I would ever goof on a buddy for taking that down. That was a terrible thing to say. I was 1000% wrong and I apologize.

I applaud Big Poopy for throwing the flag and encourage our 3 other readers to call me out if I write something ridiculous. Even shitty hockey blogs should operate with accountability.

Now onto tonight's games:

Scotty still thinks that Montreal is alive. While they haven't lost at home yet I would say they are in deep trouble. They haven't scored, Halak is blinking like his Mario star power is expiring and the last Ville Leino goal made me want to puke in my poutine. Now I would rather get fingerbanged by a gypsy than see the Canadiens win this series but with all that has gone down this season I don't think you can count any team out.

Except San Jose. Dropping 2 at home was the last thing they needed. Some people (Scotty) think that San Jose can turn it back on and run Niemi out of town. I am not one of those people. While they are great players I cannot get comfortable with the idea that Thornton and Marleau will power this team back from an 0-2 start.

This is great:

- Nemmy

So...

2010-05-19T12:29:00.004-04:00

Here's something I tweeted a week ago just as I felt the rug coming out from under me:

"Being fan of the Bruins can be fun as long as you know you'll eventually get crushed. It's like having sex with Oprah. - t2ma"

Called it!

Here's an earlier tweet that really sums up the Bruins season:

"Turnovers and letting in goals with less than a minute to play: 2
signs of bad pee-wee hockey. Be better. - t2ma"

Even though the Bruins fought past the Sabres and got up on Philly I sneaky knew that the bs turnovers and tendencies like allowing goals late in periods would catch up to them. Those are signs of a rudderless operation and it's not that much of a shock that they ended up making history.

But even watching this team all season and knowing that the emperor was nude I still thought the Bruins would tie it late in the game and force OT. You know why? Because I'm an ASSHOLE. I never learn. I root for teams that don't give a shit yet it crushes me when they don't give a shit. And I'm such an asshole that I'll do the same thing next season. I'm actually looking forward to watching this team turn Taylor or Tyler into a men's league player. I can't wait until I convince myself that a Ryder or Wheeler or Wideman will snap into it and start killing shit. I can't wait until I'm crying into my beer wondering why some of Recchi's man button can't rub off on one of the other forwards.

Normally when I complain about the Bruins Bressler snaps me back into reality with his Islanders talk. So I'm done complaining.

Congrats to the Flyers who have a 2-0 choke hold on the Canadiens and look as strong as ever. Wasn't it a month ago that there were reports that the dressing room was a mess and didn't they fire their coach this year and don't they have an 8th string goalie who hasn't been scored on in 57 periods and wasn't Simon Gagne injured? I'm not sure what is going on. All I know is that the Flyers are strong, balanced and there is no situation where they are out of the fight. That's scary and I hope they smoke the Hawks in the Cup final.

I'm going to see Pearl Jam this Friday with Flyer fan, Mr. W. on Friday. We wouldn't speak to each other during the series so I'm hoping he lets me cry on his shoulder.

- Nemmy

Weekend Wrap Up or I would rather have one game every day than 2 games on one day

2010-05-17T10:08:00.003-04:00

The weekend started with the epic failure of the Bruins and ended with the epic onslaught of the Flyers.

In between Big Buff got the game winner for the Hawks:

Looks to me like Nabakov was a little slow getting over and reading the one-timer

I wonder if Peter Lavoilette is the best time-out caller in the league?

What you missed last night because you watched the other game

2010-05-13T06:54:00.004-04:00

The Canadiens beat the Pens 5-2, move onto the ECF

Can someone remind the Canadiens that they are the 16th seed and shouldn't be chopping down trees like this? Halak is awesome but the Habs' success isn't all him. Gionta and Cammalleri are playing inspired hockey and that ragtag group of defensemen got it done vs Crosby and Co.

Montreal was up 2-0 by the end of the first and I thought Twitter was going to explode. When Montreal went up 4-0 you could practically hear restaurants on Ste. Catherine street boarding up windows. How does Travis Moen skate past Serge Gonchar for that shorty? What is this world coming to? Credit to the Pens for getting back to 4-2 after Fleury was yanked but they never had their car in this one. Someone pointed out that Montreal won the first and final games at the Igloo. Last one out hit the lights.

Long summer for Crosby & Malkin who wont get passes for falling down in the 2nd round. Can anyone explain what happened to Fleury? It can't be all about Scuderi and Gill. Nothing is ever about Hal Gill.

Philly beats Boston 2-1, forces Game 7

Let me tell you something about the Flyers: they get it. When facing elimination and with a backup's backup in net they blocked everything put toward the net, outskated and outworked the Bruins and dictated the pace. The Bruins needed to step on some throats but instead gave up pucks, played uninspired hockey and only showed a sense of urgency in the 3rd period.

Mike Richards is no longer trying to kill guys at the expense of goals. He's picking his spots and the team is rallying around him. The first goal was all about his line having bigger balls than the Bruins. Briere's goal was another second effort type goal where he just had too much man button for the Boston D. I can't really fault Tuukka on the shot.

Lucic brought the Bruins to within 1 with 1:00 left in the game. Leighton struggled with the puck at times and Wideman's knuckle curve gave him rebound trouble.

I've gotten multiple calls and texts from friends checking up on me. My favorite was my buddy telling me that if I haven't jumped out the window yet he has a place for me to sleep in Beantown on Friday. Thank you. I'm good, everyone.

You can't think of it as the Flyers streaking toward Game 7 or Boston stumbling to the first tee. This is a new series now. Tortorella says that momentum doesn't carry over in playoff games. I believe it. The slate is wiped clean in Game 7 and nothing else matters. Scored a sick goal in Game 1? So what. Had 45 saves in Game 3? Whatever. Game 7 is the playoff's playoff. Game 1 heroics don't get you pussy if you bow in Game 7.

It comes down to Friday night. The bully has now backed you into a corner. There is no getting around him. Your 2 options are to lie down or power through. Either way someone is hitting the floor. Don't let it be you.

- Nemmy

So...

2010-05-11T08:15:00.002-04:00

The Price is Right Losing Horns sound bite The Price is Right sound bites

Try to forget that the Bruins just got crushed at home on Bobby Orr's statue day by a team that lost it's tender to injury.

Think about this:
If before the series I told you the Bruins would be up 3-2 heading into Philly to close out in Game 6 would you have taken it?

- Nemmy

Ian Laperriere

2010-05-07T13:38:00.004-04:00

When I watched the replay of Ian Laperriere taking a puck off his face in Game 5 of the first round against NJ I laughed a little. Here was a guy getting ripped right in the face by a puck and he gets up to his feet and tried to make it to the bench. Did he not realize that he just got a slapshot to the eye? If that shot hit any other NHLer his teammates would look like Jackie O picking pieces of skull off the back of a convertible. Ian Laperriere would be playing in the series but when checking for a concussion apparently the medical staff found some brain bruising. Brain bruising. He was willing to play through brain bruising. What an animal.

Boston is up 3-0 in the series with Philly. Barring a historic comeback it looks as though they will advance. If the Flyers still had Laperriere in their lineup there's no way the series is 3-0.

What an animal.

- Nemmy

A tale of 2 foreign (as in non-NA) goalies

2010-05-07T09:33:00.002-04:00

Evgeni Nabakov sucked or Franzen just muled it up. I don't think this is a turning point in the series yet. If the Wings win tomorrow, thats the turning point - on the road, still about to be eliminated. Then just 1 game away from forcing a 7th.

The Canadiens are resilient and probably just a lot smarter than everyone assumes. In 2 rounds they have bottled up the best scorer in the league and the best player. Don't know how. Hal Gill must have kept a notebook when he was with the Pens. Also, that crowd in Montreal is just awesome.

Heres the goal of the night. I love wrap arounds:

What you missed last night while you were rocking out with some Swedes

2010-05-06T09:40:00.003-04:00

The Bruins are up 3-0 in their series. Good for them.

The Hawks finally remembered that play-offs need intensity and freaking dustin byfuglien had a hat trick.

Watch the video to the end to see the celebration of the night:

Last night in or around Canada...

2010-05-05T09:32:00.004-04:00

Fleury was Halak and Malkin was Malkin.

Thornton was alive and Rafalski, I think, misplayed the final 2-on-1:

What happened to taking away the pass?

I hope the Wings rip off 4 straight.

Sneaky

2010-05-04T15:28:00.002-04:00

3 Sneaky things

1) The mom from the Sienna commercials

2) Alex Elder
In the postseason: 8GP, 1G, 2A +8 playing big minutes

3) Johnny Boychuk
In the postseason: 8GP, 2G, 3A, +1 playing big minutes

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were trying to escape on a flight to Dubai

2010-05-04T09:54:00.002-04:00

The Bruins took a commanding 2-0 lead in their series in a nutty game. Not sure how I would feel if I was a flyers fan and Carcillo is the most talked about player in a game

The Blackhawks remembered it was the play-offs and won and tied their series.

Goal of the night:

Losing

2010-05-03T12:09:00.004-04:00

The dejected Buffalo Sabres fan in the above picture is 2Man reader Brando. Brando's Sabres were demolished by the Boston Bruins so he had to pose in front of one the creepy wooden statues that are all over Buffalo.

Brando holds a Bruins rally towel and is wearing Cam Neely underwear. The Cam Neely underwear wasn't part of the bet but no man in the 18-35 range who's worth a shit doesn't own a few pairs. Brando cheers for a losing team but he made good on the bet so good on him. We're just surprised there's no snow on that lawn.

Bruins got lucky in game 1. Game 2 is tonight. Hang onto your ass.

- Nemmy

Weekend Wrap Up OR if the wind blows over the goalie, who gets the interference penalty

2010-05-03T10:48:00.002-04:00

The Sharks are up 2-0 in their series against the Wings. I did not see this coming. And it can all be blamed on the one piece stick:

Here is an apt description of the Penguins power play Friday night: Touch pass, pass, touch pass, one-timer, goal.

http://penguins.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=1

Not so much yesterday though, when Halak was 1st round Halak and Cammallarie does this:

I think he's the only guy in the league who can hit the puck above his shoulders, but its still below the cross bar.

Chicago didn't show up and got spanked.

And welcome back Savy!:

Great celebration!

-What did I miss?

Comin' in Hot

2010-04-30T10:55:00.003-04:00

Here's how my postseason man button award is shaping up pro forma for the Sharks 4-3victory last night:

1) Crosby - There is no question that he is the best player in the world right now. Ovy is ridiculous but Sid gets up for big games and guys rally with him. There's no argument right now.

2) Super Joe Pavelski - When your secondary scoring is ripping it up everyone wins. The Sharks are scary again.

3) Halak - Went after Moby Dick and brought tartar sauce. How strong is his man button? If he starts stealing games against Pitt he will soar up this ranking.

4) Recchi - 42 year old Rambo.

5) Boucher - Like Recchi a few years ago, Boucher was left for dead. Slayed Marty in round 1, putting up dirty numbers and if he has enough man button to storm past the Bruins he'll get his own statue in front of McGillin's.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you were a Caps fan who couldn't stand to watch

2010-04-29T09:12:00.002-04:00

Canadiens beat the Caps in game 7, 2-1: It was all Jaroslav Halak and his merry men of shot-blocking defenders. Hall Gil's long stick (not a euphemism) was in the in way all night. Ovechkin never had space, Mike Green was cottage cheese, and Marc-Andre Bergeron scored in 4 minutes of ice time.:

Second round starts up tonight. Here are my picks:

Wings over Sharks in 7
Hawks over Canucks in 6

Pens over Canadiens in 6
Bruins over Flyers in 7

Game 7 Notes

2010-04-28T13:23:00.003-04:00

There's really nothing like playoff hockey. Game 7s in particular are unmatched in sports.
If you are into power rankings here is how any Game 7 stacks up in awesomeness:

1) Game 7
2) Dennis "the Snake" Chalker
3) natural breasts
4) military flyovers
5) the time Matty Weindel hit Artem in the chest with a puck during practice from across the rink

But if you are reading this blog you already know this stuff.

Here's a few points that would be beaten to death over the course of 2 weeks if this game were the Super Bowl and hockey was shown on network television:

5 keys to success for Montreal:
1) Halak - I read somewhere that Halak is 8-0 when facing more than 45 shots. He needs to be great because he might see 60 tonight.
2) Salt - Montreal needs to play sticky D on Ovy and Backstrom. They need to keep pounding Green and the Caps D. And Lapierre needs to keep being a dick.
3) Cammalieri - Needs to be huge again. Gionta and Gomez need to come up big.
4) Crowd - I don't know how it happens but there's always a "way too large for how far away Montreal is" sized contingent of Canadiens fans in NHL arenas. A small group of Montreal fans can really suck the fun out of a loud, red building if things aren't going well for the Caps.
5) Crazy Habs fans - If they lose they riot and if they win they have gay sex. I just wanted to mention that.

5 keys to success for DC:
1) Offense - Ovy needs to keep ripping. Backstrom needs to keep ripping.
2) Traffic - Knuble and Laich need to own the top of Halak's crease.
3) Show up - Semin, Green and Fleischman need to contribute.
4) Defense - Poti is done so someone like Alzner or Morrisonn needs to step up and get a good soak
5) Heals - needs to tune into the game and ignore Rain Man on TBS like what happened during Game 6.

If Montreal wins they play Pittsburgh and Boston and Philly will face each other.
If DC wins they play Philly and Pittsburgh and Boston will face each other.

The other conference is set with San Jose facing Detroit while Vancouver and Chicago get a rematch

Even though I dislike the Montreal Canadiens I need to root for them. I'll be cheering with my brain and not my heart. I am a Bruins fan and the the Penguins look like world beaters again.

Also, since my live blogging of the Boston/Buffalo Game 6 was such a runaway success, I have decided to spend the Montreal/DC Game 7 at the Tavern with Bressler miles from a laptop. You're welcome.

Also the game tonight has no outcome on our Round 1 contest. Me and Bress tied for the win with 2 perfect series picks. Everyone else had just 1. Scotty owes us boilermakers. Wooo hoo.

Leave it all out there tonight.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you were Shane Doan

2010-04-28T09:14:00.001-04:00

Well, I guess that kind of when expectantly

Goal of the game:

What you missed last night while you ate a delicious burger late at night

2010-04-27T09:40:00.003-04:00

Bruins and Hawks closed out their series. The Caps sucked and/or Halak was amazing.

Goal of the night:
Recchi is everything right now.

Bruins/Sabres Game 6 Live Blog

2010-04-26T19:00:00.035-04:00

So I've never live blogged anything before. I've already had a misspelling on the tweet I sent out announcing this so we're already effed.

This is Game 6 but for all intents and purposes it's a Game 7 for Boston. If they can't win at home and let Buffalo with Vanek win in their barn and go back home on a streak they'll be golfing Thursday morning.

I have the NHL Center Ice feed for tonight as Versus is showing the Montreal/DC game. I have Jack Edwards and Brick and a Tony's plate from Eva's in front of me.

Reminder: No Savvy tonight. Cooke is still a cocksucker.

Vanek is in for the Sabres after missing the last 3 games with a "lower body injury". His ankle has more tape on it than Lex Steele so maybe they should just say "ankle injury" going forward.

Anthem time. Idiots in the mardi gras masks should still take off their hats.

Miller vs Rask has been the best showdown of the first round. It might have something to do with how bad both teams are offensively.

Claude versus Lindy sounds like in-fighting between 2 guys in a barbershop quartet.

Good pace to start the game. Tyler Ennis has turned into Mike Bossy in this series out of nowhere. He gets a decent scoring chance early on.

As soon as Vanek hits the ice the Bs take a cross checking penalty. Begin sits.

Patty Berg with a great read on the kill and tries a spin move 1 on 1. The German picks up the loose puck and rings the post. Crowd is going apeshit. What a start.

Bs kill is so aggressive. Hard to believe Paille was bad enough to get dumped to Boston earlier this season. He gives me a PJ Axelsson warm fuzzy on the PK.

So far we've picked up right where we left off at the end of Game 5. A couple of pig piles and people hanging off of Chara. Tonight will be fun.

BTW I spent whatever amount on the NHL Center Ice package and I can't see this game in HD. So weak.

I have no idea if I'm doing this live-blog correctly. We'll find out tomorrow I guess.

First commercial break and I'm sweating more than Shawn Thronton.

Satan gets into Myers's grill for a little. We used to call him the softest player in the league but now I'm not so sure. Myers is 8 ft tall that took some balls. Kessel would have ran away.

Bruins shooting from all angles. Love the desperation. This is Game 7 let's have a sense of urgency.

Satan with another body hit. Guys are fired up!

Bruins finally discovered that some of their better skating Dmen should be pinching when they can. Changes everything when they can keep pressure.

9:55 left and Kaleta just stuck Rask. Still 0-0 and my Tony's plate was gone 4 minutes ago.

Lucic highlights show him getting out of the corner and firing a shot on net. That's his game. His game is also throwing the puck blindly into bad spots. He needs to be more consistent.

Rask is shining. Bruins are sloppy and if Jack Edwards was watching me devour that Tony's plate he'd be screaming the preamble to the Constitution by now.

Almost want Wideman to take a penalty so the Bs can generate some offense.

Spoke too soon. Sabres get called for interference. PP time.

Johhny Boychuk (with the best name in all sports) with a one-time blast into Miller. This guys is making the Bs wish they didn't pay Ferrence all that money.

SICK SICK SICK redirect by Krejci!!! 1-0 good guys!!

Recchi basically scored off of David's blade. What a Savvy-esque setup. I'm shocked Boston scored first.

BTW Scotty and I just got back from a buddy's bachelor party weekend. He was listed earlier today with a "total body injury". 3 days 4 nights is too much for a sustained bachelor party.

And the group of guys we were with partied just like the Bruins played this season: at all times I was equally impressed, disgusted and amused by what I was seeing.

5 mins to go Bruins outshooting the Sabres 10-9. Make it 10-10 with lots of after-whistle salt.

Kaleta is such a cunt. He's driving me crazy.

Lindy Ruff has the pissed-off Dennis the Menace look down pat. Kaleta still a cunt.

Ice needs repairs.

If Kaleta was at this weekend's bachelor party he'd be the guy that ate out a stripper.

Lucic is being very measty on the Krejci line. Wheeler is involved too. Good strong pace with 2:04 left before I can put down this laptop that's burning a hole in my penis.

Sneaky good to see Nate Gerbe on the ice for Buffalo. That's a win for little guys like me.

Some end to end action with blasts from Myers and a chance by Sturm on the other end. 27.5 to go.

Tallinder knocks the puck over the glass for a delay call. Bruins will finish up the 1st up a man and start the meat of the PP with clean ice. Things are really going strong.

Great salt at the end of the first with Lucic and Montador in each others face. Looks like Lucic got a little too aggressive with dickhead Gaustad and took a minor.

I'm done here and I'm almost out of battery. This laptop sucks power and heats up my crotch to the point that we can freebase off my genitals.

1-0 Bruins with the Bs looking a little hungrier than the Sabres. Kathryn Tappen is wearing a smart blue blazer thing and I need to go to the bathroom. I'll keep some commenting up on Twitter (t2ma). Should I be happy that Pat Kaleta was just added to my fiance's hate fuck list? Not sure at this point.

Sorry for the typos. Enjoy the rest of the game.

- Nemmy

Weekend Wrap Up OR Can we please have some game 7s on Wednesday

2010-04-26T10:25:00.003-04:00

Seriously, all the games friday were mostly disappointing. I'm glad series got extended, but there was nothing really of the high-light reel variety going on.

Saturday, though had some greatness:

First, there was the ridiculousness of the Hawks/Preds game:

Watch the whole replay. Why does Martin Erat make a blind pass to the slot. Why is there is only one Predator d-man in front for 2 hawks when the Preds have an extra man? That was gross

Later that night the Penguins had a "I don't care if Fleury is playing badly, we're gonna win" comeback.

and then to win the game Staal did his best Crosby impression and fed the puck to Dupuis who really quick-released a great shot:

Even later that night the Avalanche lost the game and series. I hope everyone now forgets the Dan Boyle own goal. Just look at this:

Coyotes/Wings are going to 7, unfortunately, the Kings are not.

What'd I miss?

-bress

At least one game was good last night

2010-04-23T09:55:00.001-04:00

Flyers, Hawks, and Sharks all shut-out their opponents and the Flyers won their series

Pitt should have done the same, but Matt Carkner did enough to extend the series.

What you missed last night while you were figuring out why NHL players can't count

2010-04-22T10:31:00.002-04:00

Canucks beat the Kings, 6-4 (series tied 2-2): There were 2 too many men on the ice penalties in this game!

Bruins beat the Sabres in double OT, 3-2 (BOS leads series 3-1): There was1 too many men on the ice penaltyin this game and it led to the GWG.

Capitals beat the Canadiens, 5-3 (WAS leads series, 3-1): The Ovechkin killer wrister is back

Saves of the night:

What you missed last night because you need to figure out what the hell is going on in LOST

2010-04-21T11:01:00.002-04:00

Penguins beat the Senators, 7-4 (PIT leads series 3-1): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Sidney Crosby

Sharks beat the Avalanche, 2-1 in OT (Series tied 2-2): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Craig Anderson

Predators beat the Hawks, 4-1 (NSH leads series, 2-1): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Pekke Rinne

Flyers beat the Devils, 4-1 (PHI leads series 3-1): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Brian Boucher

Red Wings shut-out the Coyotes, 3-0 (Series tied 2-2): Possible Conn Smythe candidate from this series: Henrik Zetterberg

Goal of the night: Craig Adams again showing his backhand skills

Stay off the trolly tracks...

2010-04-20T11:50:00.001-04:00

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while preparing for Earth Day

2010-04-20T10:25:00.002-04:00

Capitals beat the Canadiens, 5-1 (WAS leads series 2-1): Question resulting from this game: Will the Caps sweep the next 3 games and win the series and everyone will forget about Theodore and game 1?

Kings beat the Canucks, 5-3 (LAK lead series 2-1): Question resulting from this game: Will anyone on the Canucks step up and play like Mikaek Samuelsson?

Bruins beat the Sabres, 2-1 (BOS leads series 2-1): Question resulting from this game: Was the Boston crowd so awesome because everyone was so sauced up from Patriots Day?

Goal of the night: In a losing effort, Samuelsson still snipes.

Weekend Wrap Up OR When will we see some double OT?

2010-04-19T10:09:00.002-04:00

Penguins are up 2 games to 1 over the Senators. Crosby's doing it all, as usual. Lets take a look at the shift that pretty much defines him as a player:

Ken Daneyko said some interesting about this - that Spezza should actually back of Sid a little, so that he can't get turned out so quickly.

Flyers are up 2 games to 1 over the Devils.

Parise did some magic Friday night

And then the Devils wasted a throwback Marty effort last night as Carcillo won the game in OT.

The Red Wings/Coyotes series has to be the fastest series. The yotes are up 2-1. I love this goal:

Capitals and the Canadiens had a wild one Saturday night as the Caps tied up the series 1-1.

Some people are saying that Gomez, by fighting, actually sparked the Caps. However, the Canadiens were already on their heels at this point, giving up 2 straight goals. I'm fine with Gomez trying to re-energize his team. He can't stop this Backstrom shot. No one can.

Bruins and Sabres are tied up at one game apiece. Same with the Predators and Hawks and the Canucks and Kings

The Sharks are being so spring shark-like:

Stay Tuned Sports Fans

2010-04-19T09:53:00.004-04:00

An exciting last few nights in the hockey world no?

That Caps Canadiens Game - 1000

Even the LA - Canucks game got interesting.

And while that was going on, the Met Game went to 20 innings. Thank God they won because if they didn't....oh boy. That game just kept going. Bress and I were scrolling thru hockey and that game and everytime we turned on the Met game it seemed that they would lose and sure enough they avoided every possible scary situation. Even when Lopez came in for the Cardinals, yes the short-stop and we couldn't even touch him....I started losing a little confidence...well I never had it in the first place with the way the Mets have been playing but you know what I'm saying.

Anyway back to hockey and some thoughts.

Some of the old bearded boys of USA Hockey are hanging it up. Keith Tkachuk. I really loved that guy...don't completely understand why I did over the years...maybe it was some unconscious fantasy love I had for him...but I did really enjoy the Guerin, Modano, Tkachuk line in the olympics in Italy even though they didn't do much. Tkachuk always did the needful...excapt when he came to camp way over weight a few years back. He was just that type of cool player I always wanted to be. Strong, skilled and cool.

This goal when it went off his head and in...pretty much sums up his entire career.

And than there's Mikey Mo's story book ending to his last home game...I think it will be but I guess he could be back for one more. I'd leave on that note but regardless of the note...it's hard to hand up those tacks when it's all you know. Skating around in the Stars jerz up in Minnesota and the very last game of the season. Here's the Mo video if you missed his last home game. This isn't the 10 minute video I was looking for but it'll give you something up of the night.

This video will show Mikey scoring late in the game for the tie. Watch Steve Eminger please...as he advocates for a goal review as the Ducks nor the Stars were moving on into the playoffs...Mikey closes his career and Eminger instead of being honored to be on the ice for that...tries to stay full competition and idiot. Way to be Stevey.

I saw Doug Weight yesterday. The man still looks together even with a sling on him.

- Scotty

What you missed last night OR How old am I, that I can't stay up for west coast OT?

2010-04-16T09:48:00.002-04:00

Sabres beat the Bruins, 2-1 (BUF leads series 1-0): One word reason for the win: Miller

Canadiens beat the Capitals in OT, 3-2 (MON leads series 1-0): 2 word reason for the win: Soft Corvo

Canucks beat the Kings in OT, 3-2, (VAN leads series 1-0): 4 words about the game: Both Sedins are great

Goal of the night: Its a tie between the Sedins and Gomez

What you missed last night OR Everyone relax, its just Game 1

2010-04-15T09:54:00.002-04:00

Senators beat the Penguins, 5-4 (OTT leads series 1-0): How did this happen? Fleury was soft

Flyers beat the Devils, 2-1 (PHI leads series 1-0): How did this happen? Brian Boucher used a time machine to switch places with Brian Boucher from 2001

Avalanche beat the Sharks 2-1 (COL leads series 1-0): How did this happen? Its the Sharks, come on... like you're surprised

Coyotes beat the Red Wings, 3-2 (PHX leads series 1-0): How did this happned? Ilya Bryzgalov... Imagine if he didn't give up that softie to Holmstrom.

Goal of the night:
There was a lot of ugliness, which is per usual for the playoffs, but Craig Adams backhand was pure sweetness.

First Round Contest

2010-04-13T10:39:00.004-04:00

The dust has settled and it's time to make your playoff picks.

Rules:
Scotty will buy the winner of the first round a boilermaker at the Tavern.
Person who picks the first round 100% correctly gets a picture of my Ovechkin bobblehead and a personal congratulatory call from Bress.
If anyone picks the first round 100% incorrectly you will have to jump in net for our next ball hockey game.

Bress
Pens in 5
Bruins in 7
Devils in 6
Caps in 6

Sharks in 6
Red Wings in 7
Kings in 7
Hawks in 7

Scotty
Caps in 5
I want the Bruins, Nem but Buff is uber sneaks - Buff in 6
NJ in 6
Pitt in 6

Det in 6
Van in 4
Chi in 5
SJ in 7

Nemmy
Caps in 5
Devils in 7
Bruins in 7
Pens in 4

Sharks in 6
BHawks in 6
Canucks in 5
Coyotes in 7

Best of Luck!

- t2MA staff

What you missed last night while you were preparing for the Master

2010-04-08T09:57:00.003-04:00

Rangers beat the Leafs, 5-1: This was probably the Rangers best 60 minute effort of the entire season and definitely their best effort recently. When all 4 lines are rolling and Lundquist is in Sandman mode, they are a scary team.

Oilers beat the Avalanche in OT, 5-4: The Avs are most likley going to play the 1st seed in the play-offs. Will they just be happy to be there and pull a BJs and get swept.

Coyotes beat the Predators, 5-2: I just hope the Coyotes avoid the Red Wings in the first round... speaking of the wings...

Red Wings beat the BJs, 4-3: Remember when people thought the Olympic break would be bad for the Wings?

Hawks beat the Blues, 6-5: Its a win, but the Hawks were up 6-1. That type of defense and goaltending doesn't bode well for the play-offs.

Lyndon Byers is still the mayor

2010-04-07T12:29:00.003-04:00

One of my childhood heroes is fighting Butterbean in an MMA match on May 21.

Per Wiki:

Byers is scheduled to face Eric “Butterbean” Esch on May 21, 2010 at Moosin: God of Martial Arts. The superheavyweight bout won’t be on the pay-per-view and is only to raise money for charity. In remarks at the press conference, Byers said the money would go to the family of a slain Boston police officer.

What a beast.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were booking your tee-times

2010-04-07T10:22:00.003-04:00

After last night the western conference is set and the East has 4 teams fighting for 3 spots.

The Flames lost and the Avs won, so the surprising Avalanche are in. If the west standings stay the same here are the match ups:

SJ v Col - maybe the Sharks win a first round series
Chi v Det - sucks for the Hawks
Van v LA - Luongo has sucked lately and gave up 8 to LA a week ago
Pho v Nash - if no one watches a playoff series, does it still count?

The Rangers lost a must win last night and the Canadiens let the Islanders come back, so Montreal didn't clinch yet. And Philly won.

The Rangers/Flyers game on Friday will decide everything.

What you missed last night because you were experiencing technical difficulties

2010-04-06T10:50:00.002-04:00

Vs had problems during the Caps game and then because of some rules, I couldn't watch the blues game. Thanks.

I'm only recapping the Oilers game then.

Oilers beat the Wild, 4-1: Two teams, both eliminated from the play-offs and kind of playing like it. The Oilers scored some fancy goals based of nice passing or odd-man rushes. The Wild are disappointing again.

Traveler's Diarrhea

2010-04-06T10:47:00.008-04:00

I'm back from vaca and I haven't had a solid shit in 4 days.

Before I left I predicted the Rangers would have a playoff spot and the Bruins would be golfing. Let's just say that I'm pleasantly surprised with the how the standings look right now. That's the best you get with this year's Bruins: you are just happy to be in the discussion.

And it's the same with last night's game against DC. I thought the Bruins had a great chance to get 2 points but they couldn't and I'm ok with losing in OT. My expectations have officially been tempered. Going sideways just might be enough to get into the final two spots in the East this season.

Before I get into it...What was with the camera work for Versus last night?? I literally cannot describe what was going on with the way that game was shot for tv.

Anyways Patty Bergeron's goal was nifty and I'm going ignore all the negative stuff about the game and highlight the bright spot.

First Dennis Wideman (I'm ignoring the fact that he took the high-sticking penalty in OT) spins away from a Mike Knuble check and looks to break out of the zone.

What drives me crazy about Dennis Wideman is how he tries to do a little too much with the puck. He has Lucic open and Patty Bergeron (being the mayor he is) is giving Wideman an out. Wideman instead looks up-ice to Recchi by headmanning the puck through a scary part of the ice. Maybe I'm just a pussy but c'mon.

Things work out and Lucic (flying up the wing) gets the puck with speed crossing the red line. I'm too lazy to look up who the Washington left D is but I would like to see him bust back into that circled position to keep Patty Berg in check. But it's all good as long as Nick Backstom stays with his center.

He doesn't. Lazy Left D busts it to get back into action but he is toast. Backstrom gives an uninterested attempt to get his stick in the lane and Joe Corvo (giving Lucic way too much space) has what Eddie O would call an "inactive stick". Lucic's pass is pretty and this all doesn't work if Patty Bergeron isn't busting the entire time. Nothing sexy about Patty Bergeron. He is Tim Ducaning his way into the Bruins Captain's chair.

Bergeron bears down on Jose Theodore and all of a sudden a dog is on the trampoline and time stands still.

Berg shrugs off a desperate hook and somehow slides the puck past Jose. Mark Recchi is so happy he doesn't know who to hug.

The best part about this clip is that Mike Green got the night off to rest. Had Green been on the ice Bergeron would have never gotten touched.

I never get tired of seeing this picture.

It was a nice moment until the Bruins cough it up in OT. I'll take the 1 point at this stage. I just wish I could produce a solid bowel movement.

- Nemmy

Weekend Wrap Up OR No matter what, little kids will get you sick

2010-04-05T10:01:00.003-04:00

It was the 2nd to last weekend of the regular season. Teams are fighting for spots and therefore fights happen.

I bet Ian Laperierre hates the fact that he and Max have similar last names.

Its always a good weekend if Billy Black fights.

Last night Nik Backstrom made a sick save with his stick, but I can't find a video of it anywhere.

I can't remember anything else "high-light reel worthy"

-Bress

What you missed last night because it was the first seder

2010-03-30T11:08:00.002-04:00

I watched NHL on the Fly: Final this morning. I don't understand when they have game highlights, but without commentary. And why did they have the radio guy only for the Panthers game. At least I got to hear some of his awesome pop-culture goal calls.

Hurricanes beat the Thrashers, 4-1: In short, Cam Ward is back and played well.

Sabres beat the Bruins, 3-2: Its a good thing Nemmy is on vacation.

Predators beat the Panthers in OT, 3-2: Randy Moller called one goal by saying, "but look at his hair!" I don't get it either.

Ducks beat the Stars, 3-1: Selanne got a cool plaque for goal 600.

Wild beat the Kings, 3-2: That sound you hear is everyone jumping off the Kings bandwagon.

Weekend Wrap Up or the roller hockey season opener was a success!

2010-03-29T10:45:00.004-04:00

There were no outstanding highlights from Friday's games.

However on Saturday, there was this:

I'm really amazed that Marleau has those wheels. I really like the celebration also.

This goal looks a lot better with the behind-Krejci view. He really picks out that top corner:

Also, the Flames suck.

This is a good save:

It definitely made up for the bouncer from Owen Nolan he let in.

Look up quick release in the dictionary:

Thats what you find.

What did I miss?

-Bress

Friday

2010-03-26T13:37:00.002-04:00

In last night's mens league game I broke a one-piece that I had bought 2 games ago.

It doesn't get any worse than that.

Here's Doug Gilmour.

It almost doesn't get any better than him.

I'm on vaca next week. When I get home I'm sure the Bruins will be out of contention and the Rangers will be on a tear. Suck my ass.

- Nemmy

Weird

2010-03-25T09:07:00.010-04:00

Please play this video through the reading of this post. I love the setting of this video in the very beginning with the old black and white count chocula/dracula/munster/house on a hill in a warehouse stage set up in a back lot in Studio City. LOL!!!!

Despite the Islanders racing as fast and as furiously to the bottom with a meager...a meager short covering rally in the middle of the season I have weirdest Islander related siting of the year.
This device seems to have been a vending machine at one point. Why this resided in our server room in my trading office in midtown Manhattan hoggles my mind...absolutely hoggles it. And the only reason I have encountered this is because we moved our office and this is on the floor of the old office getting ready to be tossed away. Sprite, Coke, A&W Root Beer and Bud Light as the Buttons. 1000! So weird and bizarre. Thank god its Thursday and not Friday and I have an 8:30 game tonight.

Saw this woman on the subway...her hair is Samson 1000! Ridiculous. She must step on it or other people must step on it here and there.

And if this isn't a soon to be animated version of myself at my kid's ice hockey game following in my father's footsteps than I don't know what is.

I love this man. By the way that is a looney toons hat of Marvin the Martian he is wearing. Sometimes things fit and you don't know why. Feeble and Frail.

- Zellia

3D Hockey

2010-03-24T16:04:00.004-04:00

I haven't seen Avatar but when I was a kid I took in a Captain Eo show in Epcot Center. That being said I think it's pretty sick that tonight's Rangers/Isles game will be broadcast in 3D. If you pay $20 you can sit in the Theater next door to the Garden or if you own a pair of glasses I think Cablevision will broadcast into your living room. Tonight Michal Rozsival's defensive errors will really seem like they jump off the screen. Ba dum bum.

Here's how to top the 3D game:

1) Broadcast the game in 3D from a camera located in Henrik's contacts. The league tried this years ago with Tomas Vokoun in an ASG wearing a huge camera on top of his helmet and it wasn't that great. But a Lundquist contact cam would really blow people's minds. Picture Being John Malkovich if he spent his evenings screened by Redden and staring at tits in the stands.

2) Mic up Sean Avery and let him go uncensored. If the NHL put this On Demand and charged a fee I would be a better buyer. Kovalchuk hears one thing out of Avery's mouth and he loses control so I have to hear what kind of smack he comes up with. Also the Rangers should take every opportunity to mute Joe Micheletti.

3) Here are the top 5 Girl Scout Cookies because it's GSC season and I got bored with writing about the Rangers and only wrote this post because I went on the site and saw that no one else wrote anything:

1) Thin Mints - chocolate and mint and so good frozen. These are easily #1 in my book because I rank these in the number of cookies I can eat in one sitting. Thin Mints are easily a 4 or 5 sleever.

Trefoils - Shortbread is sneaky amazing. Plus it's in a cool shape that when you hold one in your hand you can imagine that you won a challenge from the Vh1's the Pickup Artist.

Tagalongs - aka Peanut butter 1000s. They melt so quickly that you are forced to put them down in one bite. Not a bad thing.

Thanks-A-Lots - I've never eaten one but the description says shortbread and chocolate. They say thanks on the cookie so you don't feel bad about crushing a box or two. You're doing a good thing!

Samoas - I think toasted coconut is gross but I could still put down a half sleeve easily.

That's it.

- Nemmy

8 vs 9

2010-03-23T10:47:00.005-04:00

A year ago at this time the Bruins were doing coke with natural-breasted rippers on speedboats. What a difference a year makes as tonight they play the post trade deadline Atlanta Thrashers in order to stay relevant. Shit happens. Instead of sitting around wondering how the hell the Coyotes are the team to beat in the West let's watch a few clips of guys ripping slappers on penalty shots.

Chara gets in so close before opening up. Scary. We all know his shot from the high slot is over 100 mph. How fast was this one travelling? It's like when ESPN shows us how hard the 12 year olds in the LLWS throw and then give us the equivalent from an MLB mound. Whatever.

Vanek is sick. He really makes it look so easy. He seems to freeze Huet (or whoever) on his back swing. Very Ernie Els-like.

Hossa rips top shelf. Sorry for the remix video but it's all I could find of this awesome clip. Dirtiness.

Thrashers host Bruins at 7.
Boola-Boola

- Nemmy

Today Sucks

2010-03-19T11:17:00.003-04:00

As you may be aware the Bruins hosted the Penguins last night. The Bruins got shutout in the big revenge (and bigger playoff implication) game and Cooke walked out of the arena with only a scratch.

Sucks for Marc Savard who is still in such bad shape that he can't even watch TV. This poor guy has no idea that the White Collar season finale was terrible. In a month he'll be able to sit down and watch an hour show without headaches, load up the DVR and be totally disappointed like the rest of us. At least the writers let Bizarro Jerry shoot that crooked FBI agent. But mostly it sucked.

Sucks for the Bruins that not only is their #1 center and playmaker on the shelf for what could be a very long time but they had all this revenge attention on a game that they needed to get points to stay in the playoff conversation. Instead of getting fired up to face the defending champs at home they were answering questions about how they would handle Matt Cooke. Matt Cooke should should never be on anyone's mind, ever.

Sucks that Cooke answered the bell wearing a visor. Even when he tries to do the right thing he's a douche.

Sucks for James Wisniewski who got 8 games for a ridiculous hit the other night. He totally deserves to sit for running a defenseless Brent Seabrook but I think he got 5extra games that Cooke should have been handed.

Sucks that the NHL can't get their shit together as far as protecting its players.

Sucks that I don't understand how or when an attempt to injure infraction can be used.

Sucks that NHL refs don't either.

Sucks that guys like Mike Rupp or Billy Black have to answer for dirtbag teammates like Matt Cooke. I remember watching a teammate kick a guy with a skate when he was on the ground. A few of us on the bench looked at each other in disbelief. It would be us to had to answer for one lunatic teammate who got tossed from the game. Another time our captain went out a speared a kid after the final buzzer. He graduated and the next year it would be the remaining guys who had to get ready for the retaliation. I've never backed away from the physical aspect of our game but it sucks when you have to get involved for ridiculous reasons and it makes it seem like you cosign one idiot's actions. You really want the other squad to know 2 things: 1) the kid is a retard and it was a dirty play but 2) if you try to retaliate I will eat your face. That position sucks.

Sucks when you go out for a beer and some drunk Australian crowbars his way into your conversation and you can't get rid of the guy. And of course he is completely alone at the bar so it's not like you can tell him to go back to his buddies. And of course you are trying to be polite but he is getting belligerent and you might have to slap around some drunk guy just to get him to butt out of your conversation. And of course all you are talking about is the Frasier where Daphne goes to the fat farm or how you'll listen to any song covered by Sixpence None The Richer but this guy just wont leave you alone. Why is the guy drinking alone? Can't he go somewhere else?

Sucks for Marquette and ND.

Sucks ever worse for Georgetown.

Today sucks.

Tonight will be great. Have an awesome weekend.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you were drinking cliche irish drinks

2010-03-18T09:47:00.002-04:00

Flames beat the Avalanche, 3-2: Vesa Toskala played so well, I thought it was Kippersoff in net. These 2 teams have nice little rivalry going and there were some good fights.

Ducks beat the Hawks, 4-2: Wisniewski's revenge hit on Seabrook is absolutely suspendable. It was premeditated and targeted the head with an intent to injure. It was dirty and high its laughable that he got 2 minutes for charging. People want to blame Colin Campbell for the discipline issues, but really, its the calls on the ice that need to change. Refs need to have more conviction.

Devils beat the Penguins, 5-2: God, those green pants looked sweet. Devils dominate the Penguins. Same story, same headline. The Pens pp is embarrassing versus the Devils. On 2 consecutive plays, Devils got short handed breakaways by anticipating the d-to-d pass.

Really

2010-03-17T11:06:00.002-04:00

It scares me that people ask me about the 2man all the time and where we are and I have to say we are on a hiatus currently when this stuff is happening. Tough to do something like this when it's so silly and you have to keep it going and it gradually getting funnier. I give him credit.

Check it out.

What you missed last night while you were charing your roomba (not a euphamism)

2010-03-16T10:28:00.003-04:00

Red Wings beat the Flames, 2-1: The Wings goals were scored in the exact fashion that you would expect them to score. Datsyuk makes a move and with no release, snipes high blocker. Holmstrom in front, tip, goal.

Devils beat the Bruins, 3-2: Marty Brodeur caught the puck, made a sick saucer pass to Clarkson, who scored on Thomas. Was anyone else surprised that Chara made no play on Clarkson?

BJs beat the Oilers, 5-3: Why would I watch this game?

Weekend Wrap Up OR What I missed because the power went out

2010-03-15T09:43:00.003-04:00

There were a ton of good fights this weekend. Here they are in no particular order:

Owen Nolan - Love that he's still playing and fighting

Rick Rypien is fearless!

Not a great fight, but I love when the players take off their buckets

This counts a "loss" for Boogaard, right?

I'll briefly talk about the Ovechkin hit: You can't hit a guy in the numbers. If you see numbers it means that the player has beat you. Let it go. The only reason that the call (5 min and a game) is up for discussion is because the refs don't call it consistently enough. You want players to let up on those dangerous hits - then the refs need to make consistent calls. I don't know if Ovy should get suspended, but the right call on the ice was made. Shut up, Mike Milbury.

Heres a great pass from Ovy, from Friday versus the Lightning:

Pat Eaves has dangerous speed and Ryan Miller should really stop even thinking about using a poke check:

Formula for a great save = highway robbery + late in game x team has lead... as done by Halak

It was Ottawa's only goal, but boy was it pretty. Vintage Jason Spezza:

Steve Mason has a slow glove hand, apparently:

Heres a nice passing play from the Isles, to put away the Leafs last night:

What did I miss?

-Bress

Atrium Animism

2010-03-11T13:56:00.001-05:00

From ESPN.com

Cooke has been suspended previously for hard hits.

Cooke was suspended two games this season for a hit to the head of Rangers center Atrium Animism. He also drew a two-game suspension for a hitting Carolina forward Scott Walker in the head on Jan. 20, 2009.

Cooke was not suspended for a knee-to-knee hit on Carolina's Erik Cole that occurred during last season's Eastern Conference finals.

Atrium Animism. Wow.

- Nemmy

Attention:

2010-03-10T16:51:00.002-05:00

This is a legal hit in the NHL for the remainder of the season.

Please adjust your game plans for the rest of the season accordingly.

- Nemmy

I'm an Artist

2010-03-10T16:00:00.000-05:00

- Nemmy

Life's Unfair

2010-03-09T16:51:00.004-05:00

So Patty Berg came back from Vancouver with a nicked-up groin

and Marc Savard got decked by Matt Cooke

and now Chara is sitting with a "lower body injury"

and don't forget to check out the clown that Marisa Miller is banging.

waah waah.

Quit your crying and get back to work. We've got 19 games left to secure a playoff spot and we need all hands on deck.

Let's roll.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were talking someone out of single ahandidily reruining the economy

2010-03-09T09:18:00.004-05:00

Stars beat the Capitals in the shoot-out, 4-3: Turco made 49 saves, the Stars came back. Yadda yadda yadda. Stephan Robidas got walked twice by Ovechkin. It was awesome. In the first period Ovy, beats him to the outside, but gets stoned by Turco. In the 3rd period, Ovy fakes outside then goes in and rips a wrist shot by Turco. Thats called thinking mans hockey.

Kings shut-out the BJs 6-0: This was embarrassing for the Jackets and Mason.

Bruins Blog Roundtable

2010-03-05T15:54:00.003-05:00

We recently participated in NESN's Bruins Blog Roundtable fielding questions about the current state of my beloved Bs.

Even though everyone calls me Nemmy I'm up on the site as "Dan". That's cool too. Not all of my answers were posted so I'll paste all my answers. Everything in italics I just wrote in as after-the-fact commentary.

1. What aspect of the Bruins' game must improve for them to be Stanley Cup
contenders?
Every aspect must improve. The Bs don't have a shut-down defense that can keep them in games when they are only scoring 2 goals or less. Tuukka has been strong but it would be asking a lot from him to steal multiple games from teams like the Pens or Caps.

The way Thomas played the other night made me think that the Tank Engine could steal games in the postseason. Then I remembered that he was facing Toronto. If I threw on my Mylec street hockey pads and a jai alai cesta I could keep the Leafs under 2 goals.

2. How did Peter Chiarelli and the Bruins do at the trade deadline?
It seemed like it was a sellers market so we're happy that the Bruins didn't give up too much yesterday. Trading for a sniper would have been great but we'll settle with upgrading the D and not giving up valuable picks.

I wanted to blast the Bs for not acquiring some help for that first line but selling the farm to rent Kovy wasn't going to make things better. You bolster teams at the deadline and the Bruins need more than 1 or 2 pieces.

3. Both Tim Thomas and Tuukka Rask are performing well. Who do you feel
should be relied upon for the remainder of the year?
The Bs should go with the hot hand down the stretch and right now it is Tuukka's net to lose. If suiting up Satan will help win games then Claude should start him.

I sent this in before Tuukka injured his knee. I hope my response didn't jinx things. Also when I wrote that Satan should start in net if needed I didn't mean Miro Satan, I meant the actual lord of darkness. In every picture I've seen of the Devil he has sick horns and muscles 1,000. Would the league let him put a blocker on his tail and dominate?

4. Will the Olympic break help or hurt the Bruins?
Krejci was a beast in Vancouver so if he can keep up that level of play it will certainly help the squad. But all in all, the added rest for injured Bruins will be totally offset by the added wear and tear on Chara and Bergeron during the Olympics.

For real. Chara looks like he wants to lay on a humongous couch and somehow Bergeron injured his groin while taking 5 faceoffs in Vancouver. Not a great sign.

5. Are the Bruins better than, worse than, or exactly as their record
indicates?
We would like to say that the Bruins are better than their record indicates because, with the exception of Rask, the entire lineup is underperforming. But maybe last season was too good to be true. We aren't sure right now.

Look at me using the 2Man royal we. Can someone do a polite golf clap at your desk for that one? BTW I was told to keep the answers short but everyone else on the site went yard with their responses. But if you are a reader of this site you already know that I can't write anything of length because my weak grasp of the English language. Thanks to Evan at NESN.com for the look.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night while you were taking a bath

2010-03-05T10:02:00.003-05:00

Bruins beat the Leafs in the shoot-out, 3-2:
Miro Satan's move
was dirty. Even though it
made no sense at all.

Sharks beat the Canadiens, 3-2:
Dany Heatley is
completely unlikeable.
I hate his face shield.

Hurricanes beat the Senators, 4-1:
Did Pascal Leclaire
get hurt again last night? Is
he softer than Rick?

Coyotes beat the Avalanche, 3-1:
I am rooting for
the Coyotes. I don't care
that the league "owns" them.

Capitals beat the Lightning, 5-4:
I wonder if the
Caps have the record for most
games scoring 3 plus?

Penguins beat the Rangers in OT, 5-4:
Paul's status - "Cindy
Crosby diving. Big Surprise."
Paul, you stop crying!

Blues beat the Stars, 6-1:
Paul Kariya, great
college hockey product or
greatest product?

Predators beat the Kings, 4-2:
Johnny Quick looked bad.
He must be rusty from the
press box in BC.

Thrashers beat the Islanders, 6-3:
How come Garth couldn't
move one keeper? This team is
about to implode.